A Drop in the Ocean
by Saerafina
Summary: Loki is imprisoned at SHIELD while the Avengers decide what to do with him. Darcy Lewis happens upon him there and just might be the key to his redemption... Loki/Darcy (rating might change).
1. Chapter 1

Post Avengers – instead of returning to Asgard or wherever, Loki is imprisoned at SHIELD while Thor pleads for mercy for him and Fury and the Avengers try to decide what to do with /Darcy and Thor/Jane (rating may change as updated).

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CHAPTER 1

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The afternoon was winding down to evening as Darcy Lewis made her way past the security guards at the entrance and down into the lower levels of the SHIELD base currently set up in New Mexico. Their little temporary stake-out had become permanent with Thor and Loki's recent return to their realm—something they were trying to desperately keep under wraps from the human population, hence the base in the middle of the desert.

At first, it had been kindof charming, but after so long the heat was getting to her. She missed her home back north, where they had proper winters complete with plenty of snow. Here even mid-December, the faintest chill to the air was the only tangible hint of the change in seasons.

"Darcy, thank you so much!" Jane greeted her with a warm hug as she took over some of the stack of papers Darcy'd been bringing down to her. She'd become much more lively, affectionate and happy since Thor's return. It was wonderful to see, though a tiny part of Darcy didn't want to admit it made her feel jealous, and a little bit lonely.

What she wouldn't give for her own perfect man to just fall out of the sky into her lap.

Oh well. As it was, she couldn't really complain. Jane's research was going well, and the two of them were working so closely with SHIELD that Darcy had even managed to get a pay raise and a shiny new security clearance badge.

Of course, it meant she couldn't tell anyone in the outside world what it was that she did, but no one would care anyways. The stuff that fascinated Jane was enough to put most normal Earth mortals to sleep. Darcy had even had trouble with it at first, but Jane's infectious excitement and dedication to her goals had helped to get Darcy to join her cause. A little bit.

"Miss Lewis, you are too kind." Thor, ever the polite gentleman, stepped over behind Jane and pulled the pile of papers out of her fingers effortlessly in one hand, wrapping his free arm around her waist and pulling her close.

Darcy rolled her eyes as the two got wrapped up in yet another kiss. She'd never figured Jane to be so open with her affections, but then she supposed finding the most perfect man ever would make any woman want to shout it from the rooftops.

Darcy stepped away, pulling her backpack closer to her chest as she moved down the metal steps into the lab and office they'd set up for the two of them.

After the near-apocalypse that Thor's brother had caused, they'd designed an ultra-new fancy, escape proof glass pod that they'd decided to lock him away in until they decided what could be done with him. They might have killed him outright if Thor hadn't pleaded so insistently for his brother's life.

Even now, Thor had moved into living quarters on the base with Jane, so he could be closer to his brother and help to find some sort of resolution to the situation. Darcy wasn't sure such a thing was possible, but it wasn't her department. She had other things on her mind.

Setting up on her computer, she pulled up her thesis and messed with the latest sentence she'd typed into the word document. She'd changed her focus from political science to include international relations. The subject was fascinating in practice but so dull in theory that finishing up her paper was like pulling teeth.

Knowing she wouldn't get very far today, yet again, she glanced up just as Jane moved over to her.

"If you have the time, could you put this into the program? I did some extra calculations late last night that I think could help if we can get it all to come together just right."

"Not a problem."

"You're a gem."

"I'll remember that next time I forget to bring you coffee."

"Mmhmm." She grinned before returning to her notes, her mind obviously running a mile a minute as she worked on new calculations for the Einstein-Rosen bridge. Despite Thor having rejoined her, she was still desperate to figure it out. A scientist faced with a mystery, she just had to unravel it and understand it.

Darcy smiled and returned to her work.

After several hours of mulling around, adding two paragraphs and then deleting one, she pushed away from her computer in frustration and glanced at the clock. Just about lunchtime.

Just as she had that thought, Thor burst into the room with an absurdly large platter of food, carrying it over to Jane and motioning Darcy over with a wave. Steve, Natasha and Clint followed in his wake, the latter two looking bored but still moving in to grab some of the food he'd nabbed from the kitchens.

"Hey Darce, how's the writing going?"

Steve sat down next to her, sneaking a peek at her laptop before she slammed it closed.

When they'd first met, she'd nearly scared him off with her appreciation of his man-parts, her sexy nicknames for him and her utter straightforwardness. Something the man from the past had never learned how to deal with.

Eventually though, he'd figured out she was playing with him, and she'd grown on him. She had a habit of doing that to people.

"It's going well enough not to worry about it."

"Pie?"

Thor handed her a plate piled high with food, obviously under the misguided notion that she hadn't eaten in weeks considering the amount of food present. Atop it all was a whole pie. Not a slice. A whole pie.

"Are you crazy?"

"He means well." Jane smiled and nodded. Clint and Natasha disappeared as quickly as they came. Steve leaned in to give her a hug before backing to the door.

"Would love to stay, but they've got us in training all day."

"Beat 'em all up for me."

"Will do."

Jane and Thor came to sit near her and start on their lunch just as the phone rang. Jane's expression went all business-like in a way Darcy instantly recognized. A call from Nick Fury, or one of his SHIELD operatives sending her another batch of orders as they were wont to do.

Thor frowned and Darcy rolled her eyes, knowing she'd wrap herself up in whatever they told her to do and probably forget about lunch entirely.

Needing a break, Darcy grabbed a little bread bun, cheese and grapes and headed out of the room to find a quiet place to sit and eat. Her trusty ipod was in her jeans pocket with all her favorite play lists loaded up. All she needed was space and quiet. Which was harder than you'd think to find around this base.

Outside of the spartan corridors and long winding stairwells that led down into the base, there were a few control rooms, doors that were locked to Darcy, a kitchen, a couple of common rooms and the downstairs gym where most of the Avengers got their workout in for the day.

Darcy avoided all those, the sound of weapons crashing and fists pounding audible even from one floor above. Instead, she took a little side stairwell she'd never been down before, figuring now was as good a time as any to explore. While she didn't have a security guard on her back telling her to keep to "her clearance area". Ugh.

The base was much bigger than it looked from the outside. She'd been getting lost wondering around it since it was set up nearly a month ago, and she'd still seen only a third of it all.

Her little ballet flats made a clanging sound as she descended the metal steps into what looked like another control room. Several suits glanced up at her with stern expressions.

"Sorry, wrong room, just leaving now…" Before they could usher her out, she backed away down another hallway, already lost in the winding corridor. Maintaining a sense of direction when every hallway looked exactly the same was proving to be difficult.

Several flat metal doors without handles lined this hallway, electronic pads near them indicating the need for a special badge to gain access. Moving beyond them, she pulled up to a smaller door that looked like it was a closet.

Curious, she pulled it open only to find another winding set of stairs down into a dark room.

No lights were on, and when she looked for a switch on the wall, her fingers found nothing but smooth steel. The place felt eerie somehow. When she stepped in, lights automatically flickered on above her to illuminate another long hallway, this one made from plain, solid concrete that led out onto a balcony. She couldn't see what it looked out onto, but it was quiet, and there was a bench.

Decided, she made her way down and onto the balcony as a large room opened up to her left. The floor was several floors below her, and the ceiling extended one or two floors higher. The glass balcony looked down onto a tall, circular pod of glass—the ruffling of clothing and his voice came in time with the realization that went off like alarm bells in her head.

"Midgardian."

Loki's prison.

Trust her to find this of all places.

She'd accidentally stumbled upon some strange viewing area looking out onto his glass cage. Around the cage was thin air, a drop of fifty feet or more with only a single platform connecting him to an area just below her.

When she took a moment to pull her eyes away from his stern expression, she noticed the blinking lights of security cameras, panes of glass from a control room opposite him and more security equipment. They weren't taking any risks.

"Come to taunt me?"

A shiver ran down her spine at the coldness in his eyes. Her immediate reaction was to back away and leave the way she'd come in. But that would make her seem weak. He'd think she was afraid. So she did the opposite.

"Not really." She tried to keep her voice as casual as she could while she sat on the bench overlooking him. His deep, vibrant green eyes never left her, and she prayed he wouldn't be able to notice the way her hands were shaking.

Big bad god with a brother complex who nearly wiped out her entire planet? No big deal.

"Just having lunch."

She pulled out her ipod, laid her food out across her lap and tried to push away thoughts of where she was with her 90s pop music.

After a moment she could feel herself relaxing. It was working. Digging in to the snacks she'd brought, she let her eyes fall shut as she enjoyed the music and leaned her back against the wall behind her.

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Loki was dragged out of his dark thoughts by the footsteps of the little Midgardian companion of Thor's woman. Immediately, the all-too-familiar hatred, at himself and at Thor, rose up inside him. He'd assumed she'd come to gloat, as some of the Avengers had. To inspect him in his cage like a creature under a looking glass, curious and emotionless.

"Just having lunch."

The words baffled him. He'd expected a snappy retort or an insult. Or perhaps even pity, the worst of them all.

Instead, she acted as though he wasn't even there. The moment she'd put those little things in her ears, she'd started tapping her foot to whatever music she was listening to as she made short work of the food she'd brought.

She'd come near his cell. To have lunch.

Perhaps this was her way of mocking him, acting as though he wasn't even worth paying attention to. The thought riled him, and he yelled loud enough to startle her above the sound of her music.

"Midgardian!"

She pulled out the little earbuds with a frustrated sigh then glared over at him with large, mesmerizing blue eyes.

"What? Just had to interrupt the perfect song."

His frustration and irritation mounted.

"And by the way, my name's not Midgardian. It's Darcy."

"Your name is irrelevant."

"Not if you plan on talking to me it isn't."

She put the little earpieces back into her ears and deliberately turned her face away from him with a pout.

The little Midgardian was ignoring him.

Ordinarily, he'd toss her out of the room with his powers, or encase her in ice to push her away, but in the little box they'd carefully crafted for him, he was powerless.

The rage simmered as he watched her, growing and falling in a languid crescendo. She was engrossed in another food item she'd brought. She unwrapped it from a shiny foil wrapper—revealing a bar of chocolate—and gazed at it longingly before she took a bite. Savoring it. The way she ate it slowly, lovingly, was almost sinful to look at.

She was quite pretty, for a Midgardian. The fact that he'd even noticed elevated his frustration further.

He thought of whether she could be of any use to him. He was intimately familiar with all the security measures they'd placed on his prison, and getting past them would not be an easy feat.

Thor's woman was clever and highly educated. If somehow he could persuade or manipulate her, he might have a chance. But this one…

He watched as she pulled a pen out of her pocket, at the same time spilling the rest of the pocket's contents all over the floor.

He rolled his eyes. She wouldn't be of any use.

Determined to ignore her as well, he turned and was faced with the familiar concrete walls, metallic frame and glass windows he'd been encased in since they'd taken him prisoner.

He was growing all too familiar with the switches on the wall, the ridges in the concrete, and the patterns of light on the ceiling.

If they didn't make up their minds about him soon, he might just expire of boredom.

The thought again had his head turning to look at the woman who'd begun humming to her music. Just when his eyes found her face, she glanced up at him. Their eyes locked, those clear blue eyes arresting. He frowned at her, hoping to frighten her again, but instead she tilted her head. Her mannerisms reminded him of a cat.

She held his gaze a moment longer, her expression unreadable before glancing away again. He thought of speaking to her, of trying to gain her confidence somehow and find a way out of his prison.

His plan fell away as he saw her gathering her things and getting up to leave.

Before she stepped out of his view and back into the hall she'd come from, he called out to her.

"Darcy."

She didn't speak, merely turning to him with an expectant expression on her face, brows raised in question.

"Why did you come here?"

She shrugged her shoulders. As though coming down to his prison cell wasn't anything out of the usual.

"I wanted some peace and quiet to relax."

And before he could fully process her comment, she turned and left him alone.

All his life, he'd been mired in chaos. As a youth, he'd gone on any and all adventures Thor had thought to drag him on, and had secretly gotten into plenty of trouble all his own on top of it all. Growing up things had only gotten worse, until children's fights had given way to more serious quarrels. Even before the calm of Asgard had been destroyed and Thor had been banished, nothing around him had ever been calm.

And this little Midgardian had come to him for peace?

When he could not find such a thing inside of himself no matter how hard he tried?

The rest of the day until his eyes fell shut in slumber, the concrete walls and the glimmer of lights on the wall across from him went unnoticed. The little female puzzle kept his mind occupied for long after she'd left.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Thanks so much for all the favorites and reviews already! So quick, I really appreciate it. It helps me to keep up with the story, I hope to take it far So without further ado, a new chapter!

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Darcy had slowly been in the process of moving all of her and Jane's research into the SHIELD base in the desert and Jane had spent the better part of the previous week trying to convince Darcy to move _herself_ into it too. The idea of being near Jane and working on their research 24/7 was just a little too much for her so despite Jane's protests, she kept her little apartment on the outskirts of the city and chose to drive to and from work every day.

At the moment, she was sorely regretting her decision.

She nearly tripped as she flew out the door, coffee, notes, laptop, and purse in hand. She'd slept through her first alarm and only woken on the second, making her desperately late for work. Jane didn't normally mind. She worked any and all hours and didn't keep to a strict schedule, so she'd always been pretty relaxed with whenever Darcy could make it in. Nick Fury and his agents however were another matter altogether.

To keep the salary that paid for her lovely little apartment, she couldn't afford to be late. And no matter how far out on the edge of town the apartment complex she lived in was, it was still a good half hour drive out to their facility.

Maybe Jane was right.

As she focused on the drive down to the base, her mind again drifted back to her odd little lunch break from the day before.

She'd been surprised, frankly, that she'd been able to accidentally stumble onto his prison at all. Considering all the security systems in place, she wouldn't have thought she would have found a way to gain access to him. Was it safe? This was SHIELD. It had to be.

SHIELD would spare no expense to ensure the world was safe from the likes of Loki. She reminded herself of that every time his cold green eyes flashed in her mind from the day before.

She'd seen all the security precautions they'd put in place herself; yet when he'd looked at her like that, he'd seemed far too close to comfort for her. As though he could reach right through the glass into her soul.

Shaking off the shiver that ran down her spine, she pushed him out of her mind.

She had more important things to do with her day, and not enough time to get started.

_4 hours later_

"Miss Lewis, what are your thoughts on the matter?"

Darcy had been midway through typing up Jane's latest notes into the computer when she was pulled away from her laptop by Thor. He'd been deep in conversation with Jane, Steve, and Bruce about what to do regarding Loki, and as Darcy had focused on her work she'd tried really _really_ hard not to listen. She didn't want to be involved. She wasn't involved. This wasn't her fight. She wasn't an Avenger.

So when he drew her into the conversation, she contemplated the topic with a frown. Her gaze fell on Jane who leaned in to her for support, and she shrugged as she tried to seriously contemplate a situation so radically far out of her own experience she didn't even know where to start.

Thor was looking over at her with a pleading look, obviously wanting her support on whatever he'd suggested. He seemed to be the only person in the world still on Loki's side.

"What matter is this, exactly?"

Steve was seated to her left. He spoke up first, his face grim. "Thor wants to find a way to release Loki while restricting his magic."

"Which is a totally ridiculous idea," Bruce chimed in. "Magic or no, he'd only just start everything he tried to pull before all over again. Except now he knows us better, knows our weak spots."

"He isn't like that!"

Steve stepped in. "Actually Thor, I'm sorry but I think he is. _You_ look at him and see the brother you grew up with, but we can see what he actually is. There's no way I would trust letting him out of this base."

Satisfied that Thor had forgotten about her and she didn't have to involve herself in their debate, Darcy put her headphones back into her ears. Her fingers hesitated on the play button of her ipod, leaving her in silence as she watched them argue without being able to hear them.

There was no question that Thor was far too generous when it came to his brother. His major soft spot for Loki was just another of his charming, perfect qualities.

But on the other hand, he was the only one here who truly knew Loki. Surely, beneath the icy exterior, there was something vaguely human underneath?

Again, her thoughts drifted back to the day before. It had been awkward, for sure, but he'd also seemed on edge, defensive. Like a wild animal who lashed out before anything else had a chance to attack it first.

The idea of Loki as a hedgehog popped into her head and had her stifling a giggle into her hands that halted the conversation.

All eyes were on her.

"Sorry, my bad. Funny song..."

Amid the weird looks she was more than used to by now, she stood up from the table and stepped into the back room.

All day she'd been trying to focus on her thesis and completely failing. What else could she do?

Okay, fine. So she wouldn't be able to put Loki from her mind today unless she went back to see him. To see for herself if he'd been as intimidating as she'd remembered. To finally push him out of her thoughts so she could focus.

To prove to herself that he wasn't all that impressive. He was just an evil man, nothing more or less than that. And she'd dealt with her share of them in the past.

No big deal.

"I'll let you guys wrap up, I'm going to get a snack."

Without looking back, she grabbed her bag with the little sandwich and salad she'd packed up in it earlier that morning and headed down the hallway hoping no one would follow.

After several steps in silence, she relaxed and studied the hallways around her trying to remember how to get back to the cell.

She'd stumbled on it by chance the day before, and her sense of direction as it was, she might never find it again today.

Taking a breath and starting her music back up, she looked for familiar arches, panels of metal along the sides of the hallway and the control room she'd passed the first time she'd come down this way.

When she pushed into the small door and was swallowed by the darkness from the tiny hallway from before, a different kind of nervousness flooded her.

She'd managed to find it again, but she wasn't sure she wanted to any more.

Did she really want to spend her lunch break in the company of a psychopathic liar? What was it that Thor saw in him?

That little thought bugging her was what had her walking into the hallway and down to the familiar bench from the day before.

She sensed the instant he noticed her presence, the feel of his dark green eyes on her back almost tangible.

She figured he would try to mock her again, to maintain power over her by trying to put her down, just as her mother's ex had tried to do so many times. Luckily, she'd learned her way around that and how to stand up for herself.

Steeling herself, she turned to look down at him.

His eyes were focused on her like a hawk, watching her every movement as she walked over to the bench, set her bag down and made herself comfortable. And for a split second, short enough that she'd almost thought she'd imagined it, he'd looked surprised.

The expression was gone as soon as it came, and his face settled back into the stoic frown she was familiar with.

Should she greet him? Should she ignore him again?

He took the choice from her as his voice broke the silence.

"You've returned."

His voice was flat and cold, but again she felt as though he'd wanted to ask a question rather than make a statement. _Way to state the obvious_. She wanted to snap back at him but somehow she didn't dare.

She didn't see Loki taking too well to her sarcasm. It flew over Thor's head most of the time, and she couldn't imagine Loki would fare any better.

He would probably just scoff at her 'Midgardian ways'.

She rolled her eyes and dug her sandwich out of her bag.

He didn't take his eyes away from her the entire time, which was unsettling to say the least.

As she began to eat, she returned her gaze to him, wanting to show him that she was not afraid or intimidated by him.

His brows furrowed as she began to eat. His eyes flashed from dark to light green as she could practically see dozens of thoughts running through his head. The intelligence there was the biggest difference, she realized, between him and Thor.

Sure, their appearances were practically polar opposites, but Thor's eyes were always warm, unguarded and friendly. Welcoming.

Something about the intelligence in Loki's eyes said 'I've thought of a thousand different ways I could kill you right now and I'm just hesitating on which one to pick.'

She couldn't take her eyes off him. Determined to hold her own against him, she deliberately studied him from head to toe, trying to keep her expression as casual as she could muster with the adrenaline currently coursing through her veins.

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The little Midgardian, Darcy, held her stubborn chin high as she held his gaze with an unreadable expression on her face. Perhaps she'd come back to put on a brave face and try to act tough, knowing that no matter how scary he was, there was no way he could step outside his glass cage.

The thought only made him want to step over to her bench all the more.

She was a confusing little thing, and he was ashamed to admit that since she'd left yesterday, he'd thought of her more than once. It had only been a simple, short interaction but it still puzzled him.

When he spoke to her, she'd rolled her eyes, as though she hadn't been very impressed with what he'd said. It had been a mere statement of observation, not the question he'd wanted to ask, and he sensed that she knew it. The knowledge unnerved him. Few people saw through him so easily.

If she'd come to see him just to prove to herself that she was safe from him, then she could have simply left it at yesterday and been done with him. But she'd come back.

Why? And why was he glad that she had?

Her bold eyes held his gaze, then meandered down his form. She took her time with her stare, and suddenly his entire focus was riveted by the expression on her face.

It had started out inquisitive and stern, as though she was trying very hard to keep her frown exactly where it was, but as she took her time studying him, the façade fell away and a languid curiosity bordering on the seductive took its place.

Did she find him attractive? One side of him wanted to flush with pride and arrogance; of course she would be attracted to him, he came from gods and frost giants and was no match to the Midgardians of her usual acquaintance.

Another voice, the little one at the back of his head that had taunted him since as long as he could remember, carved a whole in his thoughts, letting doubt flood in through the cracks.

He'd never been truly wanted. Why would she be any different?

And then the rage came flooding back, so intense he saw dark spots in his vision, and fought to remain standing.

It was the rage Thanos had taken hold of, when Loki had been lost in the darkness for too long. The rage that had caused him to lose control.

He would not allow _her_ to bring it out in him again.

Taking several harsh, deep breaths, he looked away. He tasted the defeat from the simple gesture, the taste of sulfur flooding his tongue.

When he glanced back, she was sitting and eating, staring at her food with the same unguarded fascination she'd afforded him only seconds before. She felt his eyes on him again, but when she looked back down at him, this time her expression was sheepish.

She motioned to his glass cage with a faint wave of her hands.

"I'm sorry, is this rude? I just thought to bring my lunch here, but you know…"

She waved her sandwich at him, and it dawned on him that she wanted to offer him food. The initial shock at her visit came back to him tenfold.

"They are feeding you here, right? I mean… you aren't hungry, are you?"

She truly didn't seem to know, and she cared about his welfare.

She'd all but offered him food.

Why would she care?

"Well, excuse me then. I won't mention it again."

He hadn't realized he'd uttered the words aloud until she answered him. Now he regretted them. She looked upset.

She deliberately turned away from him. He wanted to think of something to say, some way to apologize. The foolishness of his current train of thought hit him. Apologize? To a little Midgardian intruding on his privacy for her own amusement?

He wanted to pound on the glass, but he contained his frustration. Like his anger, jealousy and rage, they festered deep inside, rarely ever bubbling up to the surface.

He wanted her to leave.

"No, you know what? I will mention it again."

She pulled him out of his thoughts yet again, and he turned back towards her. She'd stood up, moving closer to him with one hip cocked to the side to assert her stance.

"Regardless of what you've done, I don't believe in torture. Have you been getting food?"

Her determined pout seemed to say she'd march right up to his captors and demand a meal for him if need be. For the first time since he'd been captured, a smile free of bitterness crept up on his face. He tamped it down instantly.

"I am being fed."

Her body relaxed, and she nibbled on her bottom lip as she contemplated the information. She didn't seem to be aware that the action made her lips fuller and richer in color. She was quite beautiful for a Midgardian.

"Well, good. That's good."

She sat back down on the chair and looked around the room awkwardly, her fingers picking at the food she'd left sitting on the bench beside her.

When she finished eating, she moved to pack up her things.

Suddenly the reason for her coming didn't matter as much. She was about to leave, and she might not come back. Midgardian or no, she'd been his only reprieve from boredom, Thor's obnoxious attempts at salvation and the questioning of the SHIELD operatives who liked to poke and prod at him whenever they could.

Having someone around who simply kept him company and cared whether or not he was hungry was different. Weak as he was, he wanted more.

"You work with Jane Foster."

She turned to him at his statement, her eyes flashing as her expression changed from relaxed to suspicious.

Wrong topic choice. She obviously assumed he was trying to obtain information, to find a way out or concoct any other plan.

The fact that he wasn't intending any of the above was not lost on him.

"I do."

He needed something neutral and safe to keep her talking.

"Do you like it?"

His first proper question. Those expressive eyes of hers lit up again as she gave it some thought. Trying to decide how honest she could be with him? As much as he didn't like it, he respected her caution. She was a smart woman.

"I didn't at first, but it's grown on me."

"You are a scientist like her?"

"A scientist? No, not at all. I'm more like an assistant, I help to keep her organized, to record everything and report stuff."

What else to ask a Midgardian he knew nothing about?

Silence hung in the air for another moment before she picked up her bag and turned away. Out of ideas, he had no choice but to ask.

"Will you come back?"

Her head tilted and her eyes flashed back to his with a glint.

"Maybe."

"Have lunch with me again."

This time, her face lit up in a wicked grin. Before he could ask what that meant, she was out the door and gone from his sight.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

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The next day, she came back.

She was late this time, not coming around in the middle of the day as she had the previous two times. Loki had found himself glancing more than once at the digital clock across the room from his cage, before he turned and shook his head as though to shake her out of his thoughts.

He'd figured she'd decided against coming, having gotten bored with him. Yet when he heard the tiny door he couldn't see scrape open and heard light footsteps on the metal landing above him, he knew instantly that it was her.

He wasn't glad she'd come back. He felt drained.

Nick Fury had paid him a visit for most of the morning. While he hadn't set foot inside the cage or touched him in any way, spending hours in his company felt nothing short of torture. The military man had tried every cheap tactic he could think of to extract information from Loki.

What he didn't realize was that there was nothing Nick Fury could threaten him with that would frighten him. Nothing that could persuade him to give up the knowledge he kept buried inside of himself. And absolutely no reason to help a Midgardian.

He'd demanded more information on the aliens he'd guided to their planet, but there was no way Loki would reveal that information. No way he would speak of Thanos.

Thanos was true fear. Everything Loki hated and adored all at once. To reveal the depths he'd fallen to, to give up information about him would expose Loki in ways he could never allow.

No one could see the darkness inside him, the weakness he'd allowed Thanos to exploit.

So he'd stuck with his usual cutting silence and occasional sarcastic retorts until the man gave up for the day and left.

He was getting so tired of this.

"Hey," Darcy's shy greeting pulled him from his thoughts. She wasn't looking at him, but took a seat on the bench with her back against the wall and got herself situated.

He didn't have the energy to think about her, to puzzle her out.

He missed the darkness all of a sudden, its dark, quiet depths comforting, blanketing him against too much information that spun around in his head, contradicting thoughts that threatened to tear him apart.

No matter where he was, he was alone. At least in the darkness, no one could see his shame. No one would witness him suffer.

"Are you okay?"

Her voice sounded worried, and he caught her studying him again as he reluctantly turned to face her.

Why did it sound like she cared? It had to be some cruel game to her. Not for the first time, he felt like lashing out at her, releasing all of his anger and pain.

He glanced around his glass cage.

They'd padded it, with a small pallet to one side for him to sleep. His clothes were brown and plain without buttons, zippers or string of any kind.

So he wouldn't hurt himself.

Loki let out an ironic laugh.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me? What do I look like?"

His voice was bitter, tinged with malice as he lifted his hands around to motion his cage. She flinched at his tone, and nibbled her lip as she wouldn't take her eyes off him.

Damnit. He didn't need those clear, sharp eyes looking at him any longer.

She looked like she understood, and that infuriated him most of all.

She could never understand. She had no idea. If she had even an inkling of what he'd been through, she'd run screaming in the opposite direction.

A violent spike of anger tinged his vision red for a split second. He fought to remain standing as his body shook from the strength of it.

He couldn't stay locked up for much longer.

"You're angry." Her tone was puzzled. She was trying to figure him out.

"What a clever little woman you are."

Again, sarcasm dripped from his words, but this time she didn't recoil.

"Don't get all snippy with me. I only just got here so I know you can't be angry at me."

"That's where you'd be wrong."

"Oh really? And how have I managed to get on your nerves in the span of oh... 30 seconds? I'd love to know because that is a _record_, even for me."

She sat, impatiently waiting, glaring at him and tapping her foot. Expecting an answer.

He wasn't used to her tone. Few talked back to him in such a way. He expected hurt, anger, anything he had experience dealing with.

Instead, her expression was demanding, and slightly amused. She was making light of his mood. And somehow, instead of making it worse, the red slowly faded away and brought him back to reality.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

He didn't have to answer her. He could simply turn away. But that would feel like a defeat, and Loki would not be defeated by a slip of a woman centuries younger than him.

She was challenging him, and he had to win.

Before he had a chance to voice his biting reply, the sound of a door fizzing open interrupted him. The door on the lower deck, across from the platform to his cage was sliding slowly open, which could only mean another visitor.

He glanced up in panic at her, but she'd pulled back from the balcony so she was hidden from view.

He wanted to tell her to leave, but it was too late.

Thor stepped into the room, the familiar blend of love and pity that Loki had come to know so well etched across his face.

"Brother."

"Do not start with me. Will you not leave me in peace?"

Thor's expression turned disgruntled, the hope fading slightly from his eyes at Loki's cold tone.

"I will never give up on you Loki. You know that."

"Time will tell. We can only hope."

"Why do you wish me to give up on you so badly? We are family."

"No, actually, we aren't. Now, is that all?"

Loki felt his heart racing, felt the acid anger bubbling up from deep inside of him. He couldn't deal with Thor on the best of days, but now it was so much worse.

That Darcy should witness his humiliation was abhorrent. She could not be allowed to see how weak he really was, and if he knew Thor well enough, he would be all too keen to dig up every little secret he had to try and win him over.

The obstinate fool was stubborn as hell, and it was slowly suffocating him.

The image of Thor's face at the bifrost flashed through his mind, just before Loki had given in to the darkness and let himself fall into the black.

He wanted to see that expression again; his look of utter hopelessness, of defeat.

The hope in Thor's eyes was killing him more than he would ever know.

/+/+/+/+/+/

She'd been caught up in her thesis and actually getting some work done when she'd remembered that Loki had asked her to come back.

She hadn't planned to. Jane had bought them both lunch from a little Italian bistro outside of town on her way in, complete with Darcy's favorite ciabatta bread sandwich and the most delicious Caesar salad she'd ever tasted. Who could blame her for indulging?

But her curiosity combined with the fact that he, the proud, all-powerful Loki, had actually _asked _her, had her stepping away an hour earlier than she'd planned to leave to head down and see him.

She'd sensed something was off the moment she'd stepped onto the balcony.

He didn't turn to look at her, pacing inside his cage like a cornered animal. He looked worn, drained. She wasn't sure what to make of it.

She figured he'd be angry that she was late, but he barely responded to her greeting. Clearly, something else was on his mind.

It brought back her awareness of the fact that he was all but chained in this tiny room for however long SHIELD thought to keep him there.

Every time she'd looked at him, every time she'd thought of him, she'd seen his face in her mind's eye, standing in front of her.

She never pictured the cage in her mind, but it was always there.

"Are you okay?"

The moment he'd snapped back at her, she _knew_ with absolute certainty that this wasn't about her at all.

No matter what kind of man he was, there was only so long you could cage anyone until they cracked.

It made her start thinking of things that up until now she'd deliberately put out of her mind. What did they put him through here? What was SHIELD doing with him? Did he know what they planned for him? She hadn't even dared to contemplate it, the thoughts seeming too dark and foreign to her, but he was forcing her to consider it now.

He was a master at masking his feelings, but even he couldn't seem to contain the rage that was flowing through him. She could see it in the crease of his brow, in the unsteady trembling of his hands.

Did he even realize how tightly he was clenching his fists?

Whatever the reason, he was suffering. Darcy couldn't stomach watching it.

She thought of leaving, but he was the one who'd asked her to come, and he needed some way to unleash everything he was bottling up so tightly. Was she the right person to help him do that?

Why would she help him at all?

His face turned to her, all the bitterness, pain, and frustration clear as crystal in his dark green eyes. He looked as though he'd been about to say something, but the sound of a door below her opening nearly made her jump.

Whoever it was, she couldn't let them know she was here. She had no idea how much trouble she would be in, but she wasn't about to find out.

As quietly as she could, she yanked her backpack to her chest and leaned back into the shadows so whoever was on the floor below couldn't see her.

She recognized Thor's voice a moment later, and cussed under her breath as she wished herself to be anywhere else in the world but here.

It felt wrong, she was intruding, but there was no way she could leave now without making her presence known and making the situation even worse. She was stuck where she was, unable to get up without stepping out in front of the bench where Thor would undoubtedly see her.

So she held a hand to her forehead, brow scrunched up and eyes firmly shut as she tried to breathe as quietly as she possibly could.

As she focused on keeping herself concealed, she found herself listening to their exchange with rapt fascination.

"I know you insist on not caring, but I am working with SHIELD to free you from here."

"Crafting another pretty little collar to put around my neck? Another leash to tame me with?"

"No! I do not wish for that. If you could just prove that you do not intend harm, then perhaps there is something-"

"-And if I can't?"

Thor's sigh echoed throughout the room.

"Loki, is this truly where you wish to remain for the rest of your life?"

"They cannot hold me forever."

The room fell silent, and while she couldn't see either of them, she felt the tangible tension in the room.

"You truly do not care about your future?"

"What I care about is none of your concern."

"Loki…"

She heard the sound of fabric as Loki must have stepped across his padded cage.

"If I could have saved you that day, I would have done anything-"

"-Do not SPEAK of it."

Loki's low, controlled tone broke as he raised his voice ever so slightly. Thor had obviously hit a nerve, though what they were talking about she hadn't the faintest clue.

"You do not know what awaits in the darkness, of what is beyond the bifrost..."

"Then tell me."

Loki's harsh laugh grated out of his chest, sending a shiver down Darcy's spine.

"You wouldn't comprehend the ache, the pain that eats you from the inside out… you will never understand a world so black it chokes you."

"I wish to know. I wish to help you."

"No, you don't! You have your worlds, your freedom. You want to see me suffer."

"No! Never!"

"Then let them kill me! Let them take their revenge."

"You can't mean that. I won't believe you mean that."

"Then you will never understand."

Another shuffle sounded. Thor's footsteps clanged on the metal walkway.

"Loki…"

When his brother didn't reply, she heard Thor's large, rumbling steps cross the walkway back towards the door.

"I will not give up."

Darcy waited until she heard the sound of the door closing before she let out the breath she'd been holding.

Intense was the only word she could think of to describe it. There was so much emotion, so much more than the words they'd exchanged and their conversation nearly broke her heart.

"Satisfied? Have you seen all you wished to see?"

Sarcastic Loki was back, biting at her as she sat back up on the bench and faced him.

He was being deliberately cruel, but it no longer fazed her.

She saw too easily past his cover to all the hurt he kept hidden from the world.

That was when it hit her. He'd wanted to die.

Whatever had happened between them, and whatever had transpired in Asgard, Loki had wanted death more than he'd wanted to live.

She recognized the signs. Everyone around her friend Kathy had swept them away like cobwebs assuming that she'd simply get over it and be perfectly fine given enough time. Everyone had ignored it until she'd been found hanging from her living room ceiling.

Somehow, that desire had been at the center of whatever he'd tried to do to their planet. She didn't know how, why, or what had transpired, but she knew it with a certainty.

If he couldn't move beyond that on his own, then Thor had no hope of saving him. None of them did.

Unsure of how to deal with that, she could only think of one thing to do.

"I have to go."

And this time, he knew with absolute certainty she wouldn't be coming back.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

/+/+/+/+/+/

The fluorescent light flickered off and on again above the desk for the fifth and final time before Dr. Jane Foster pushed up off her desk in a huff, stalked across the room to turn it off, and flipped on the switch for the tiny desk light in front of her instead.

"Y'know, a little warning would be nice."

Darcy sat in front of her notepad, plunged in complete darkness as she'd been squinting and struggling to make sense of Jane's latest scribbled notes.

Jane was working harder than ever these days, and making more progress, with Thor's help, than they ever had in the past—which meant Darcy had to work twice as hard to decipher her hastily scribbled calculations so she could type them up and record them.

"Oh, sorry. I got a little caught up, and that was driving me _crazy_." She sighed and rubbed her forehead as she raised her light up to try to illuminate the rest of the room.

It was better, but not by much. Darcy gave up and put the notepad on the desk, leaning back in her chair and looking up at the flickering light.

"Do you think you could look into changing the bulb or something? I don't think I can work with that."

With a mumbled assent, Darcy stood and moved to head out in search of one of the many agents that ran around the building. As her hand touched the doorframe, Jane's voice stopped her.

"Hey, Darcy?"

"Hmm?"

When Jane didn't speak for a moment, Darcy turned to look at her. Jane had risen, and stood facing Darcy with a calculated look.

"Are you okay?"

"What? Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You just seem a little distracted…."

"Don't I always?"

Darcy tried to maintain her playful façade, but Jane had known her long enough that she could see right through it.

"I get it."

Slightly taken aback, Darcy's eyes narrowed. "You do?" There was no way she could have an inkling of the turn of her thoughts.

"Yeah, well, I think I get it. At least part of it. I know this whole move here has been really stressful, and I didn't really mean to bring you into the heart of everything here…"

"Things have been a little crazy. It wasn't as if we had much of a choice."

"I know, but still… I really appreciate your help."

"I know." Darcy smiled, content that she had someone as brilliant and kind as Jane on her side. "I'm happy to do it."

And as she left, Darcy realized she honestly was.

If someone had asked her a year ago whether she wanted to be mixed up deep in confidential government secrets in a building that to a civilian wasn't even on the map, she'd have said _hell no_ and run as fast as she could in the opposite direction.

But the past year's events and Thor's arrival had made her realize just how tiny the bubble was that she'd been living in, and she wanted to know more. Even if said 'more' wasn't always pleasant.

Which brought her thoughts back to the dark, brooding man currently locked up in a glass cage.

She knew what he'd nearly done to the city of New York, and she'd seen his anger and bitterness firsthand. Yet she couldn't get over what had to be under the surface, and her thoughts kept telling her that there was something more there, if she could only convince him to open up.

Ironically, it was part of the reason she'd gotten into poli-sci in the first place. Buried somewhere beneath the dull, dreary political language and recycled rhetoric, the real issues were buried, and she'd liked the adventure of digging into them, uncovering them and figuring them out.

Everyone at SHIELD saw everything so black and white, enemy or friend. There was no in between. Yet the world was full of a myriad of colors, and something told her Loki would be far more valuable as an ally.

She wasn't sure where the thoughts and the curiosity came from. She wasn't even sure he'd want to see her again.

Things had been awkward to say the least, and as much as she wanted to know more about him, she didn't feel comfortable delving into his personal issues, especially not unless he allowed her to.

So she skipped visiting him the day before, today, and had no plans to see him the next day.

After all, what could she say?

Darcy made her way down the hall to the nearby storage where spare bits and pieces were kept from Jane's research and combed quickly through the piles of boxes until she found a spare fluorescent bulb. Hoping it would work, she closed the storeroom door with a code on the keypad and headed back to Jane's lab.

When she entered, the room was quiet. She glanced around for Jane, but found no sign of her.

Must have taken a coffee break.

Shrugging her shoulders, she moved the nearest chair underneath the light and stood on it, getting to work switching out the bulb.

Once she'd pulled out the old, she stepped down and grabbed the bulb she'd found and inserted it. Crossing the room, she flipped the light switch on only to be met with… nothing.

Evidently, they'd brought along a used up light bulb.

Sighing in frustration, she moved back to the chair and stepped up to take the faulty bulb out. The office door opened and closed behind her.

"Hey Jane, still working on this…"

"Miss Lewis." Thor's voice startled her, and just as she'd been about to step back off the chair, she stumbled and came careening down hard on the floor, smack on her butt.

"Miss Lewis! Are you alright?"

He rushed over to help her, but by that time it was too late. She winced at the bruise that was surely forming as she stood.

"I'm fine. All in one piece…"

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to startle you."

"Oh, you're all right." The day just kept getting better and better. Rubbing her bruised rear, she set the bulb on the desk.

"I convinced Jane to take a break for food. She told me to ask you to join her. Are you sure you are alright?"

Darcy shook off her grumpiness as she looked up at the towering thunder god. Jane frequently worked so hard she skipped meals altogether. Normally Darcy reminded her to take a break, but she'd forgotten today. A spike of guilt ran through her. She'd been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn't paid attention to the time. Forcing a smile on her face, she looked up at him.

"Totally fine, only a little bruise. Tell her I'll join her in a minute."

"I can wait, and accompany you."

Despite having been here for months now, he still was more formal than ever. The only person he called by their first name was Jane, which was somehow ridiculously adorable. She tried to convince him to leave her and go on ahead, but he wasn't having any of it.

He could be almost as stubborn as Loki when he wanted to be.

After she righted herself, she motioned to him.

"All set. Lead the way."

He stepped ahead of her, always checking around corners as though at any moment, he expected an enemy to strike at him from out of the darkness. His vigilance set her a little on edge, but she pushed down the feelings and decided to move on to safe small talk.

"How is your day going?"

He took a moment to consider the question, instead of responding with the common platitudes most people resorted to.

"It is a bit frustrating."

"Oh?" Now she was regretting her question. She didn't want to pry, not after what she'd heard. He was oblivious, but she still couldn't help but feel slightly awkward around him.

"Nick Fury refuses to grant my brother clemency of any kind."

"Ah." Exactly the subject she _didn't_ want to talk about.

"I am running out of ideas to persuade him."

"I see."

"Do you agree with the others, about what should be done with him?"

"Ah…" Floundering, in search of another topic of conversation, she struggled to answer. "I'm sure they have reasons for their ways of thinking..."

"I know. I cannot blame them. But surely not everyone shares those thoughts. Do you? Can you only see my brother as a criminal?"

"Thor, I hardly know him."

"And that is what matters. Perhaps if I can convince them to try to know him, if I can convince him to let them, then they can see that he is not their enemy. Not truly."

Darcy's heart went out to him. It didn't matter what kind of a man Loki was. Thor wanted so hard to believe that his brother was good that nothing would deter him from it.

As they walked, they passed another control room, this one empty and overlooking the main rec room they frequently gathered in for meals. There was a bathroom to one side, and Darcy saw it as her escape.

"Thor, hang on I just need a moment. I'll meet you down there, okay?"

Before he could answer, she stepped inside and down into the restroom.

When she pulled the door closed behind her, she let out a little laugh at her ridiculous behavior. She'd just been thinking that she was glad she was here, and that she wanted to help, but when confronted with questions like Thor's, she couldn't help but run in the opposite direction.

Having the fate of someone else's life hang in her hands was too much to ask. To know that her opinion of him might sway a decision of whether he lived or died was far too much power. She couldn't deal with that. She could never live with herself if she affected the decision in any way.

So she waited five minutes, hoping he would leave and she could follow. Or maybe she'd just return to the lab. She wasn't feeling particularly hungry at the moment.

After several long moments that had to be at least five minutes, she stepped out. Her shoulders fell as she saw Thor standing beside one of the computer panels, clearly waiting for her.

"You didn't have to wait. I know the way."

"I do not mind."

He didn't take his eyes off the window that looked down onto the rec room. Even from up here, he kept an eye on Jane, his face loving and watchful all at once. Jane sat downstairs with her snack, chatting with Natasha and looking relaxed and lovely as always.

"Shall we join her?"

He rose from his position against the wall and moved toward her.

"Am I doing the wrong thing?"

He leveled such a severe, serious look at her that she couldn't turn away.

Her tone was low and quiet when she spoke.

"You are fighting for your brother. It's a good thing."

"It doesn't feel like it. He is angry at me for doing it."

It wasn't like Thor to sound so dejected. Unsure how to proceed, Darcy stepped closer to the monitor panel beside him. The SHIELD emblem flashed across the screen as a screensaver, a constant reminder of where they were and what they were doing.

Hundreds of questions flooded Darcy's mind, things she was dying to know about Loki, things she'd never dare to ask. Before she could sort all her thoughts out in her head, she blurted out the first that came to mind:

"What happened, between you two?"

Thor hung his head low, the pain on his face almost too much to look at. "I wasn't able to save him… He needed my help and I couldn't protect him…"

"Hmm..." Darcy stepped ahead of him, oblivious to his inquisitive look at her. She continued studying the control room, the whole series of flashing numbers and blinking lights completely foreign to her. It was beautiful, in its own way, when you didn't know that you were looking at something so deadly.

Her thoughts turned inwards, and her look became more pensive.

"What are you thinking of?"

She glanced up at him, again reminded of his height. The thought only served as a reminder of how different they were, from two completely different worlds.

"Oh, it's not important."

"What is it?" His tone was firmer, but still gentle, his face pleading.

Her head tilted as she studied him, wondering whether or not to share the thoughts running through her head.

Unable to resist his puppy-dog face, she replied: "It was a random thought really. When you talk about Loki, sometimes it sounds as though you're talking about a pet that you take care of."

"A pet?" His puzzled look prompted her onwards, into territory she wasn't sure she should be venturing. Still, she was always one to jump first, ask questions later.

"Well, you protect him, you help him, your family took him in. Whatever he does, you accept as your responsibility. What decisions has he made on his own? When has he done something, independent from you?"

Thor thought back to before, to their childhood and up until the moment he'd felt the rift between the two of them tear wide open. He'd always pushed and pulled Loki into whatever he'd wanted to do. When Loki had tried to do something on his own, Thor had stopped him or taken over. And their father. He'd always been king, but more than that, he'd watched over every decision, every step the two of them had ever made.

Loki had tricked and connived to get his way, but it never lasted long before Thor or Odin himself took over whatever it was they were doing. Loki was underhanded, because when he spoke openly he wasn't heard.

A horrible thought struck him. The one time Loki had made a decision on his own, completely against Thor's wishes, had been at the bifrost. The one time Thor hadn't been able to make him do what he'd wanted. He'd let go.

He'd tried to control him, to guard him and protect him for so long that he'd driven him nearly to the edge. It was no wonder he'd turned to a creature that gave him all the control he'd been longing for.

The thought sent him reeling. He turned to look at Darcy, little fey creature that she was, and wondered how she could so clearly see what he had missed for so long.

Oblivious to his momentous realization, she turned back to the control room.

His voice cracked when he first tried to speak, and he had to clear his voice before he tried again: "You are right."

"About what?"

"I know what to do."

"Oh. Good." She looked satisfied when he changed the subject and led them down to the rec room. Once there, he bid her goodbye and greeted Jane with a heartfelt kiss, but did not stay long before he set out to find Nick Fury.

Darcy was right, and it was time he acknowledged what Loki had been trying to tell him for so long.

It was time to let him go.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, so after that last chapter I really needed to explain what was happening next and I couldn't stand going for so long without having Loki show up… so without further ado, another chapter posted! 2 chapters in one day, phew…

CHAPTER 5

The next day was far too quiet. She hadn't come back in over three days, and the humiliation of what she'd overheard haunted him. She'd been offered a glimpse of how weak he truly was, and he'd hated it—wished he could wipe it from her memory.

She hadn't returned, and he hadn't seen Thor in several days either. If he hadn't known any better, he might start thinking they'd forgotten about him.

The blinking red light on the camera in front of him reminded him of the truth: always watched, all of the time.

The silence was unwelcoming.

He'd been grateful to Thanos, to anyone that would have saved him from the clawing darkness, but what had come next had been so much worse.

Sometimes, when he slept, he felt the faintest hint of Thanos' touch, reaching through space in search of him, seeking revenge. SHIELD didn't understand the danger they were placing themselves in by keeping him here. Sooner or later, Thanos would find him and exact revenge, killing anyone who stood in his way.

Not that he would bother to tell anyone here. He didn't care about their fates, or so he kept reminding himself.

The image of her pale blue eyes flashed in his mind, offering him food and asking for nothing in return. Such a small, simple gesture shouldn't have affected him so much, and yet, he couldn't put it out of his mind.

He was angry that he thought of her when she'd stopped coming.

Powerless.

He couldn't stand it any longer.

Not for the first time, he spread the fingers of his left hand in front of him, willing the magic he knew so well to flow through him out to his fingertips. He felt nothing, not even a flicker of the power inside of him. Whatever they'd done to seal his cage had amputated a part deep inside of himself.

Whatever Thanos would bring them all, they deserved nothing less.

He almost didn't recognize the sound of the door opening behind him. Turning to greet his brother, the usual coarse protests he uttered fell unspoken from his lips when he saw Thor's expression.

The same familiar pity and compassion was there, except this time, there was an unfamiliar resignation. As though he'd been forced to accept everything he'd been fighting against.

Unwillingly, a flicker of fear twisted inside Loki. Had they made their final decision about him? Against his brother's protests? Had he come to bid him goodbye?

Thor was quiet, his expression determined as he stepped up as close to the glass as he could, and reached out a hand to touch it, as though seeking to reach out and touch Loki.

"Loki. Brother." His voice was thick with unleashed emotions, and it grated on Loki, even as it fueled the fear inside of him. A fierce desire to live that he didn't recognize flared up inside of him.

If they tried to end him, he'd fight them until the very last moment. He'd never give them the satisfaction of giving in.

"I am sorry."

Thor hung his head, as though in shame. Loki wanted to ask why, but wouldn't let the words fall from his lips. They had taken almost everything away from him. He would not let them think they held any more power over him.

After a long, harsh intake of breath, Thor's vibrant eyes met his, brighter than ever. This time, a tiny glimpse of hope in them found him hoping foolishly.

"I spoke with Director Fury today. In exchange for promising never to interfere, he agreed to my demand."

"He agreed to your plea for mercy?" Loki's voice was full of the disbelief he felt. Nick Fury was a man with a will of iron. He hadn't given an inch in the month Loki had been here. The notion that he'd finally relented and given in to Thor's requests to spare him was almost laughable.

"No. That is not what I asked for."

Cautious and intrigued, Loki could not help but ask, wondering how much he would regret it later.

"What did you ask for?"

Thor held his expression firm and grim as he spoke: "I asked for your right to plead your case. In one month, he will listen to whatever you wish to say to him and decide your fate. I will not be involved."

For a brief moment, Loki was speechless.

Thor took a step back, studying closely as he explained: "If you wish to cooperate with us, with the Midgardians, then tell him such, and you know I will support you."

"And if I don't?"

The next words sounded forced out of his mouth. "Then you can tell him whatever you wish, and he will decide what happens to you."

"And you will not help or interfere in any way?"

Though his face said the idea was appalling to him, Thor nodded.

"He has given you a month to decide. I can help you to make your decision, but ultimately whatever you say to him will be your choice, and I will not be able to affect his decision. What he decides will be final."

His thoughts were numb. Thor was handing the power over to him? When he knew full well Loki could decide to proceed however he wanted? To totally ignore Thor's wishes, to spite him and anger the director and seal his fate, if he so chose?

The move was so uncharacteristic of him that he couldn't help the next word from spilling from his mouth.

"Why?"

"He made the point that he cannot trust you becoming our ally unless you convince him yourself. If you cannot, or _do not_, wish to do that, then nothing I can say to him will sway him."

"No. Why did you ask for this?"

"Because _your_ life hangs in the balance, not mine. It is for you to decide."

Loki didn't speak for a long moment. He'd never expected Thor to give up his crusade for him, to bully and plead until he got his way and ensured Loki was just where he wanted him.

The feeling was freeing and terrifying all at once. He was truly leaving the decision in Loki's hands. He could no longer blame Thor for whatever happened to him. He would no longer control him.

"And also…. Because I was recently reminded that no matter how much I might want to save you, I cannot help you if you don't help yourself." A faint smile crossed Thor's lips before his serious expression fell back into place. "It is truly a humbling experience to learn that these Midgardians can see things that have been invisible to me until now."

"All this from your Jane? She is more powerful than I realized."

"No. Actually, this was thanks to Miss Lewis." Thor missed the stunned look that fluttered across Loki's face before he shuttered it away.

"Speaking of which, I must return to their side. I promised Jane to aid her in moving some furniture today, but I will be back tomorrow. Whatever you decide, I will always be willing to help you Loki. I hope you know that."

Loki had nothing to say and merely watched as Thor turned and left.

He was still reeling from the news long afterward.

/+/+/+/+/+/

It was a bright, clear morning as Darcy stepped out onto the asphalt outside the SHIELD building and moved to help carry the last of Jane's things inside. All of her important work and office supplies had been relocated already, but she still had a few of her personal belongings left to move in, including a sofa and the kitchen table that Thor was currently carrying under one arm. The last box of her kitchen utensils was in Darcy's arms as she stepped out of the hot summer sun into the shade of the building and down the long steel corridor.

The living quarters for the agents that lived on base were separated from the center of operations by thick fire doors and cement walls thicker than she was. They were also done up much better, with welcoming cream walls, floor to ceiling windows and open living space.

Thor and Jane shared living quarters, and as such had been given one of the larger rooms at the end of the third floor corridor. Though she'd been in several times before, Darcy still could not help but gape at the sweet amenities inside the space. They had top of the line appliances, a fully stocked bar, a hot tub off in one corner, and a giant bathroom complete with a Jacuzzi tub and sauna. When SHIELD went out, they went all out.

Depositing the heavy box as carefully as she could, Darcy heaved a sigh and stepped back.

Thor set the table down in the open space to her left near the kitchen countertop, then turned to her as Jane stepped in with the final box.

"Thank you again, Miss Lewis."

"Oh, not a problem. Happy to help."

"Want to stay for lunch?" Jane chimed in as she set her box down and began unpacking them one by one. She'd taken a rare day off today and decided to use it to complete her move and finally settle in to the apartment. "I'm pretty sure I have my new frying pan in here somewhere…"

"Depends. Who's cooking?"

After several tragic, hilarious accidents with a toaster and a waffle iron, Thor had given up his cooking ventures. He flushed in embarrassment at her statement, but she nudged him playfully as she helped unpack the boxes.

"There will be no fires today. I will let Jane cook."

Jane and Darcy shared a comical look before Jane moved over to him and gave him a brief hug. Sometimes the man was just a big teddy bear.

So different from his prickly sibling.

Pushing the thought from her mind, Darcy focused on the task at hand. With the three of them together, it only took an hour to get everything put away and the boxes pulled apart and hidden away. Just in time for lunch.

"Does brunch food sound okay? I haven't had the time to shop, but we've got plenty of eggs, toast, bacon…"

"Sounds good to me." Darcy'd skipped breakfast anyway, so she was looking forward to almost anything she was so hungry.

"After we eat, I must go see Loki."

Jane's expression turned serious as she caressed Thor's face, offering him support with a tender glance. Darcy politely turned away.

"Take all the time you need."

She might not have wanted to be involved in deciding Loki's fate, but she couldn't help admitting she was curious about him.

"Is everything okay?"

Jane spoke as she set to the task of cooking lunch for the three of them, her back to Darcy.

"Thor was miraculously able to convince Fury to let Loki make his own case for what happens to him. He's been given a month to decide then Fury will listen to what he has to say and decide what happens next."

Concern for Loki flooded her. "What if he doesn't care what happens to him? What if he doesn't even try to make a case for himself?"

"Then he will have lost his only chance to save himself."

Darcy took the time to really study Thor, and was once again marveled by what she saw. He was a protector to the core, and letting go the way he had done had to be eating him up inside. For his brother, he was willing to set aside all of it.

How had Loki reacted? Would he fight to save himself, or would he simply give up?

Suddenly, all the reasons she'd had in her head for not going back to see him sounded silly and empty.

She wanted to know what he would do.

"And you would just let that happen?"

"I have no power over the matter. I have the month to convince him, but at the end, it's up to him."

"Things will work out, keep up hope." Jane's words were encouraging, but felt empty to both Thor and Darcy. Loki was unpredictable and volatile, and Darcy could see him tossing his own life carelessly away just to spite Thor. She couldn't stomach the thought. Couldn't even contemplate how a person could do such a thing.

Yet with Loki, anything seemed possible.

A cold fear crept through her.

She tried her best to pretend all was normal, smiling and answering their comments as they made their way through a delicious lunch, but she hadn't even tasted the food she'd scarfed down.

He might only have a month left to live.

No matter what he'd done or why, it seemed too cruel.

She didn't remember what she'd said, but somehow she'd excused herself from their company, and unbidden she found her feet taking her out of the residential quarters and back down to the little balcony she hadn't visited in almost a week.

She took a deep, shaky breath outside of the small door before she pushed her way in and stepped over to the familiar balcony.

Steeling herself, she looked down at him and met his eyes.

/+/+/+/+/+/

"Loki." This time, she was the one to greet him. She looked flustered, eyes glittering with emotion as she looked down at him. He wanted to ask her why she'd come back now, but he knew the answer.

She'd heard his verdict.

He still hadn't had time to adjust to the news, and he hadn't begun to contemplate how to proceed. The rebellious bitterness and anger that was a deep well within him wanted to throw the offer back in Thor's face and ask Fury for nothing, but he didn't dare voice the thought aloud.

There were things worse than death, he'd learned, and he did not want to return to where he'd been.

"How are you?"

Her voice was tentative and hesitant, as though she expected him to snap at her. He couldn't bring himself to. She was concerned for him; he could see it in her face. There was no pity, no mockery or derision, and he couldn't bring himself to wipe the concern for him from her expression.

He was selfish enough to need it at that very moment.

"I am unchanged since you last saw me."

"I heard what happened—Thor told me what was decided."

"And that is why you've come."

"I came because I wanted to know what you would do."

"And if I told you I don't know?"

She hung back slightly, nibbling her bottom lip as she again fell into thought. He was slowly learning how to read her, and he could see some of the worry fall away as she thought about his words.

"That would make sense."

She sagged, leaning her elbows on the balcony and bringing them the tiniest bit closer.

"Is there anything I can do? To help?"

"What could you possibly do?"

The words were said casually and without malice, but he still regretted them as her brow scrunched in frustration.

"I don't know."

She was being open and honest with him, which was refreshing and alarming all at once. He wasn't sure how to react to someone so completely open. Every little emotion she felt was written all over her face, and she blurted out whatever she wanted to say without reserve.

It was charming, and unsettling. Foreign to a man who kept everything so deeply concealed. He couldn't understand how she could be so unguarded. Had she never learned to protect herself, never needed to keep her emotions hidden?

"Thank you. For your concern."

Her eyes widened in surprise at his statement, and the weight of her gaze left him feeling exposed.

She'd been the one who had convinced Thor to give him this chance. Could he afford to waste it? What could he possibly do?

The thought of cooperating in any way with Nick Fury and his agents was revolting. But the other alternative… the simple notion grew more unpleasant every day.

He didn't know what to do. He'd been given the power to decide, and he didn't know what to do with it.

"Loki…." She looked as though she'd been about to say something, but instead bit her lip again and looked down bashfully.

Her expressive mannerisms were making him feel more comfortable around her than he'd been around anyone in a long while, and the thought was alarming. He wasn't constantly thinking about her ulterior motives, as he was beginning to realize she didn't have any. When she was annoyed, she told him, and when she was happy, she smiled at him. Whatever she felt, she shared, and it was slowly and steadily bringing his guard down.

He didn't like it.

"Darcy."

She looked back up at him at the sound of his voice, and he could actually see her gathering her resolve as she finally spoke the thoughts filling her mind.

"I know I probably don't have any right to say this, but I hope you'll make the right choice."

"And that would be?"

"I… I couldn't tell you. Except that us mortals have a lot more to offer than you think. If you stick around, you'll be able to see…"

"Will you show me?"

He wasn't sure what had prompted him to ask, but he needed to know the answer. Was she simply concerned because she couldn't bear the thought of an execution, or did she care about his fate in particular?

The compassion in her expression spoke more than the simple word that fell from her lips. "Yes."

They studied each other for several more moments, countless emotions traveling between them without words. She couldn't truly care for him, certainly not once she learned the extent of his atrocities, yet the emotion was clearly written across her face and he was too selfish to wipe it away.

"If you need anything, let me know. I have to go."

She stood and left before he wanted her to, but he held himself back from asking her to stay. As she stepped out of his view, he was hit with the realization that if he wanted to remain near, if he wanted her visits to continue, somehow he would have to persuade Nick Fury to allow it.

The task was all but impossible.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the delay my dear readers. But we are finally starting to get into the good part

CHAPTER 6

/+/+/+/+/+/

So, okay. She had to admit it. She hadn't wanted to get involved, but she was definitely involved.

As Darcy worked through her tasks of the day, she couldn't keep her thoughts away from Loki and the fate he would soon decide for himself. The uncertainty was driving her a little crazy, and it had only been two days since she'd found out.

What state was she going to be in 20 days from now?

Shaking her head to put that thought out of her mind, she focused on the data entry she was currently working on.

Yesterday and the day before, she'd returned to the balcony with her lunch, talking casually to Loki. She hadn't dared bring up the subject of his verdict again, and he'd started asking her questions about her day.

She weighed her answers in her mind before answering, wondering whether there was some dark purpose to his questions or if he was merely looking to talk to break the silence that otherwise permeated the room.

She wouldn't admit it out loud, but she'd begun enjoying their conversations, as stilted as they sometimes were. She'd never met someone as complex and fascinating as Loki, and she wanted to understand him, to figure him out and to know what he would decide, and understand why.

More importantly, she wanted him to make the right choice.

Finishing up with the task at hand, she bid goodbye to Jane and grabbed the snack she'd packed as her lunch. Before she was out the door, Jane stopped her.

"Is there something I should know?"

"What do you mean?" Darcy tried her hardest to look innocent, but she'd always been a terrible liar. Hoping Jane wouldn't see through the ruse, she pasted a smile onto her face.

"You run off to have lunch without me a lot lately. Are you trying to tell me something? Do I have bad breath?"

"Course not. You know I'd tell you straight up if that was the case."

Jane laughed, knowing it was true. One of the reasons she and Darcy worked so well together was Darcy's blunt honesty. It put her at fault sometimes with some of the SHIELD employees, but it was refreshing and entertaining for Jane.

"Sorry, I have some things on my mind. I'll eat with you tomorrow?"

"Deal. Enjoy your lunch."

With a smile and a goodbye, Darcy stepped out into the corridor and walked the familiar path to the dark, broody Norse god inside his glass case.

"Darcy." He said her name as she entered, and wasn't there just the tiniest positive lilt to that? Letting herself believe her own delusion, she waved as she made herself comfortable on her little bench.

"Gotten up to anything fun today?" Darcy nearly smacked her forehead at the question that slipped from her mouth. She was trying so hard to keep things casual and make small talk, but the question sounded stupid the moment it came out of her mouth.

"If you count listening to another lecture on the wealth and breadth of Midgardian science fun, then yes." Thor might have resigned himself to Loki's decision with Fury, but he hadn't given up on trying to persuade Loki over by a long shot. Evidently, Thor thought that showing Loki what humans had to offer was the way to get him on their side, so he visited Loki and extolled the brains and virtues of human society whenever he had a free moment.

The thunder god had a heart of gold, but Darcy wasn't sure that was the best way to go. She nearly stifled a laugh when she remembered how Loki had described Thor's first lecture. The human compassion Thor had come to admire Loki only saw as a weakness.

She could only imagine how exciting a lecture about chemistry and biology was going to go down with the dark god. Thor's heart was in the right place, but he didn't seem at all to be handling this the right way.

What the right way was, however, Darcy couldn't say.

"Science can be pretty interesting." Darcy tried and failed, her expression remaining serious for a moment before she grimaced. Science had never been her strong point.

"Why use your science when I can use magic?"

"Fair point."

She took a bite of her sandwich, eyes never leaving his, as she worked up the courage to ask him a more personal question.

"How long have you been able to use magic?"

His expression darkened suddenly, the coldness returning to his face before those piercing green eyes returned to hers.

"Since I was born. It is a part of me."

She could tell he had carefully weighed the decision to share that, and she valued the knowledge all the more because of it. Whether he realized it or not, he was trusting her with information about himself.

Loki was not a man who trusted easily, that much was clear. Darcy was smart enough to recognize the gesture, and to appreciate it for what it was.

Wondering how far he would let her go, she continued with her questions.

"And it just came naturally to you? Without trying?"

No one had bothered to ask him such a thing before. To most on Asgard, Jotun were simply the enemy, and understanding how their minds worked was worthless. As an Asgardian, most had assumed his powers were a natural heritage from his father. No one knew the truth. And he'd taken great care to make his abilities look as effortless as possible.

Could he trust this human with it?

And when had he begun to think of her as human, rather than Midgardian?

"I had to practice, like anything you would normally learn."

He didn't want to delve any farther, and thankfully she left it at that.

"Makes sense. You know, when I was a kid, I used to wish I had magic that could make me fly. What I wouldn't have given back then to be able to do it…"

"Things are never so simple."

Darcy looked far away for a moment as her voice took on a whimsical air. "No, I suppose they aren't."

Somehow, talking about her childhood had caused the energy that normally vibrated around her to lessen. He didn't like it.

She was such a prism of emotion, flitting from one to another at a moment's notice, navigating the entire spectrum sometimes in a matter of minutes. And every time she switched moods, the energy around her changed too. As though she had so much feeling it overflowed out of her and into the room.

He couldn't decide which was worse, her joy, or her disappointment. Both suffused the room, so strongly he felt them through the glass walls that separated them, against his own will.

Her joy made him uncomfortable. It felt misplaced and reminded him of all the horrible things he'd ever done. Her disappointment and anger unsettled him, putting all of his nerves on edge.

"You know, sometimes, I feel like—" Her words were interrupted mid-sentence by an awful piercing sound. She pulled a little black device out of her pocket—a cell phone, Thor had said they were called—and glanced at it in puzzlement before standing abruptly up.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this. Hang on, be right back."

Putting the device to her ear, she stepped away out of his view and down the hallway to exit the room. As she left, he heard a faint "Hi mom..." before the door closed tightly behind her.

With her energy gone, his cage felt larger and emptier than before. Every so often, the spasms would return, the pain a telltale sign that Thanos was still searching for him, scouring the universe.

If he died, he could spare himself all further pain, and put an end to this never-ending feud between Thor, himself and his father. Yet somehow, the thought was not as appealing as it should have been. If he was truthful with himself, he did not want to die. On the bifrost, he had wanted to end their feud in a way that would somehow make him the victor, and at the time, he hadn't cared for the consequences. As though somehow, causing his brother pain signified victory. He'd been such a fool.

He knew now the terrible mistake he'd made on that score, and there was no taking it back. Was it possible to move forward from what he'd done? The scorching pain and the ever-present threat at the back of his mind told him it was impossible. He'd set in motion a chain of events that he knew would one day cause him to shatter into a thousand pieces.

So he'd wanted Thor to be near. He'd wanted to spite him, to taunt him and punish him and have him be nearby for the fallout that would inevitably ensue.

Now, though, what did he think? What could he do, with the time that he'd been given?

The answer did not come easily to him, which frustrated him further.

Before he became too submerged in his current thoughts, the door clicked open and he heard her footsteps as she returned to the balcony.

He sensed the change in her energy like a sharp jolt of electricity.

Something about the conversation with her mother had upset her. Did he dare ask? She didn't speak to him, didn't even glance at him as she began gathering her things.

"Darcy."

His voice pulled her from her movements, and she glanced at him as though she'd forgotten that he was there until he'd called her name.

"Loki."

Neither said a word, merely studying each other, but when Loki's brows rose in question, she knew what he wanted to know.

"I have to get back to work, Jane will be missing me…"

She finished stuffing her belongings into the bag she always slung across her shoulder, her upset evident in the way she tossed things haphazardly together.

"Are you all right?"

He wasn't sure what to do if she wasn't, but he felt compelled to ask. It was plainly evident that she wasn't, whether or not she wanted to admit it.

"I'm fine, I just… I'm fine."

Loki paused, his intense focus studying the minute expressions flitting across her face in abject fascination.

It was the first time he could ever recall that she'd lied to him.

Every little twitch and crease on her face belied her statement, and he knew with absolute confidence it was a lie.

Which made everything else she'd ever shared with him somehow… different.

She was as genuine as he'd feared, her lie standing out starkly against every other sentence she'd ever spoken to him. It made everything else she'd ever shared or revealed all the more truthful. He could scarcely acknowledge it.

He'd learned she was expressive, her face an open book of emotions he enjoyed reading more than he wanted to acknowledge, but to know that he could trust what she said because he could _see_ for himself that it was the truth… it was… incomprehensible.

Incredible.

Impossible.

And suddenly, the aura of sadness that seemed to cling at her heels swallowed her whole. She paused in putting her things away to slump over them with an angry huff, then buried her head in her arms.

The heartache that reached him felt wrong somehow.

"Darcy."

He didn't know what else to say. It felt too hypocritical to offer comfort. And besides, he did not care about her. He was merely annoyed by the emotions she spilled over onto him.

Her sadness chafed at him, only serving to remind him of his own pain.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was muffled, and for a moment he thought she might cry, but when she pulled herself up to sitting and met his eyes again, her own were dry and dark.

"My mother. I just keep hoping, every time, that things will be different, but somehow… I can't seem to get the message."

Bracing for the regret he knew would hit him, he blurted out: "What is it?"

When she took the time to pause at his question, he was stunned to realize he did not regret asking. He truly wanted to know. How did a creature like her become the way she was? How did she survive in the world with her heart on her sleeve and her vulnerability just beneath her surface?

"You really want to know?" Her suspicious glance met his completely serious one.

"Why would I ask, if I did not?"

His straightforward, curt reply seemed to bolster her. "Alright, you asked for it." She sighed again, steeling herself perhaps, before she began to open up further.

"My dad came back. He went to see my mother, managed to win her over again, and now she's happy and celebrating and asking me to come home so we can all be a family together."

He waited for more but she left it at that. She wasn't making it easy for him.

"And that is bad?"

"Yes, it is. You don't understand, you don't know him. He was never there for us. Every day, I would hope and wish that he'd come home to see us, but he'd take off for days, weeks, or months at a time and never say where he was going. He made promise after promise that he would be there when it really counted, and he never was. It took me 10 years to really figure it out and stop asking for his help or looking for his support. And then he'd return, out of the blue, apologizing for all his mistakes and promising he'd turn over a new leaf, only to go right back to abandoning us again."

Her shoulders slumped, and Loki felt the oddest urge to touch her out of the blue. A pat on the shoulder, a gesture of support. It looked like she needed it. He tamped the urge down before he could contemplate it any further.

"You know, when I was 7, I was terrified of thunderstorms. I would scream every time lightning hit and hide under the covers. We lived in the Midwest at the time, so we had them pretty often, but this one night it was worse than any other that I can remember. My dad had just come back after being gone for 3 months, promising that he would be there for us, and I thought he would protect me. I woke up in the middle of the night, and the storm was so loud, the thunder so violent, it felt like the whole house would come down at any minute. I ran out of my room, looking everywhere for my dad, but he wasn't in his room, he wasn't anywhere in the house.

"I ended up finding my mother crying in the kitchen. When she saw me, she wrapped me up in a hug and made excuses for him, saying that he'd had to work late, that he really wanted to be here but he couldn't because he was taking care of us.

"When he stumbled in the next morning, I knew the truth. He stunk of alcohol, and he didn't even bother to apologize before packing up his stuff and disappearing the next day. I didn't see him again after that for an entire year."

It had broken her heart. She couldn't help but try to believe in him, to trust him and love him and try to convince him to stay every time he returned to them, but every time she'd failed. She knew better than to go back now. It was too late.

She sighed again, the sound echoing in the large room and bringing her back to the present. Loki's eyes were dark, his expression unreadable but he'd never shifted his focus from her. She wondered what he thought of her revelation, but she was too afraid to ask.

"I am sorry."

He didn't ask any questions, didn't judge or comment on anything, merely apologized. And that, more than anything, almost brought tears to her eyes.

She didn't know what he'd been through or how he'd become the way he had, but he'd taken the time to listen to her, and every time she was around him, she felt truly present. Whether he was reprimanding her, questioning her, or simply watching her, he acknowledged her presence and he listened to her. She felt like she mattered, if only in the moment.

Loki's words felt weak to him, meaningless and useless, but he hadn't known how else to respond. Her story revealed so much about her, and made it clearer than ever how she'd come to be as she was.

She shared her emotions, she was expressive and open because she'd yearned to give and accept any scraps of love her father ever cared to throw at her. Loki himself had been that way once, when he'd thought he could truly earn a place in his father's heart. He'd given up on that dream a long time ago. Some obstacles were truly insurmountable, and Jotun blood was evidently too much to forgive.

He pushed away the bitter anger that rose in him at those thoughts.

"I tried to warn her, but somehow I know this will just end up the same as before."

Yet she continued to hope. How long had it been, since he'd stopped hoping altogether, he wondered?

What would it feel like, to hope again?

It took Loki a moment to realize that the tightness in his chest was from tightly leashed emotions she'd stirred up in him. Her words had touched on history he'd almost forgotten, history buried deep inside of him that still burned like a wound that hadn't fully healed.

"You were wise to be cautious." After so many disappointments, she should have learned to guard her heart and not give in to false hope. Indeed, this time, it seemed, she would not return to her family and give them that hope.

Yet she was still… Darcy. Still expressive, the rich blue of her eyes swimming with a myriad of emotions plain as day. She had somehow been able to pull back, without giving up on hope and without shutting herself away.

In the darkest part of him, Loki was jealous.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, and it's none of my business… but... you are very lucky to have a brother like Thor."

The sensitive subject nearly made his emotions get the better of him. His hands were in fists, clenched tightly so he wouldn't strike at the glass in anger. In disappointment. In sadness.

"It is much more complicated than you think."

His tone was clipped, his anger spilling out onto her. He hadn't wanted it to, but he was powerless to stop it. His anger, it seemed, was the only emotion that would freely leach out of him into the world around him…

She didn't deserve it.

"I'm sure it is. I won't pretend to know what happened between you two… but you are lucky to have someone who never gives up on you. Ever."

_I wish I had someone like that._

She didn't have to say the next part, but he sensed it as clearly as he felt the sunlight streaming in through the tall window at his left. He glanced around, reminded of his prison, of the people who chained him here, the people that she worked with and socialized with.

The Avengers were a sickeningly selfless and dedicated group. If she needed help, or if she was in danger, they would do whatever they could to save her. But she meant more than that, and he knew it.

He craved it.

Perhaps she was right. Perhaps he was too harsh with Thor. But it wasn't that simple. Thor persisted, because even he did not know the full truth about him.

If he knew the full truth, surely he would turn his back like all the others.

As he had always been, he would be alone once more.

Thor would never understand.

When he didn't say anything more, she stood and turned to leave, that hopelessly sad expression still on her face. It was wrong. Someone as young and innocent as she was should not look like that.

But she wasn't his concern.

"I'm sorry. Thank you for listening."

With her last words, she was gone. It took a moment for him to get his emotions back under control, and when he did, the full reality of what passed between them hit him.

Her sadness had affected him. He was beginning to worry for her well being.

He was starting to care.

He stalked across his cage, and began pounding his fists against the glass as though the pain and the release would wipe all the thoughts running through his head out of his mind.

When his arms began to ache, he moved to sitting, and an eerie laughter bubbled up from inside him.

Darcy had been afraid of thunder. They had something in common.

Somehow, Thor's selfless devotion to Loki would become his undoing.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

/+/+/+/+/+/

One of the distinct benefits of working in a place like SHIELD was that Darcy Lewis felt safe, all of the time.

A bit too safe. Stifled, even.

There were guards at every corner, cameras and motion sensors covering practically every inch of the base, and an armory she didn't even want to think about buried somewhere in the basement.

And that wasn't even mentioning the army of supernatural heroes Nick Fury had gathered under his roof. Or Tony Stark's ever-growing collection of robots, gadgets, and armored suits that he added to daily.

Some of it was impressive, some a little quirky, and some downright crazy, but Darcy had managed to more or less get used to it.

Still, switching from her long hours at the SHIELD base to her solitary trek back to her apartment on the outer edge of the city was an adjustment. She'd gone home and changed before heading to the grocery and stocking up on the essentials. Jane had wanted an early night so they'd called it a day earlier than normal. The sun was still setting as Darcy pulled her cart towards her car.

She'd been midway into thinking how she was going to break to her mom that she wasn't taking time off to go spend with her father, when she froze in front of her car.

Someone had bashed in her windshield.

A hundred thoughts flew through her head as she glanced around the parking lot.

SHIELD had taught her to be paranoid. Had someone followed her since she'd left the base? Was someone after her because of her connections with the Avengers? Or something even more sinister?

The car park was half full of cars spread out on the asphalt, but other than that, the parking lot was empty.

It was too early for the floodlights to switch on, but just dark enough that everything felt covered with a haze. Dusk.

Cautious, Darcy glanced inside the car and searched for anything out of the ordinary. Surely, if someone had been following her, or planned to extract information from her somehow, they would have been a little more discreet.

Tiny shards of glass littered the driver's seat, and as Darcy pulled the cart to a stop next to the car, she pulled open the door and began brushing the glass off the seat in frustration. She'd had her purse with her, so that was fine, but… she glanced up at the cup holder next to the driver's seat. She'd left her phone there.

It was gone.

Past fear, Darcy stood in a huff and glanced around the parking lot once more. Now she was angry. There was nothing truly confidential on her phone, but it had been a recent purchase and she'd stored all her favorite songs on there since her ipod had broken down.

She flinched when as a fleck of glass cut her finger. Removing the tiny shard, she brought the cut to her mouth as she tried to contain the rage.

After everything she had to deal with, her music was her solace. How could anyone dare to steal that from her? With the day she'd had, this was the last thing she needed.

A faint shuffle turned her focus to a car one row across from hers. She glanced up carefully, free hand on the taser she kept inside her purse.

She could hear whispering, but from her vantage point, she couldn't see anything. The shuffling continued again, then mere seconds later, she heard the sound of glass shattering.

The thieves were right across from her.

It was definitely not the brightest plan she'd ever had. But she'd had a bad day, she was needing a victory and losing her music and all her contacts was the last straw.

She crossed between the row of cars quietly to see two young kids, barely adolescents, huddled around the window. One of them had leaned in to the car, no doubt grabbing any valuables within arms' reach, while the other stood back and glanced around nervously.

"Stop or I'm calling the police."

Darcy gripped the taser in front of her and shouted to the two boys, hoping they wouldn't see through her empty threat. They had her phone after all.

Panicked, they glanced at her and the one on the lookout started running. The one halfway through the car window was slower.

He was reaching for a purse when she stopped him with a warning.

"I would put that back if I were you. And the laptop bag."

The kid glanced at her with hatred but replaced the items he'd been midway through lifting from the car. When the kid stood, he was taller than she was, probably around 17 or so. He glanced down at the taser cautiously and took a step back.

"And my phone."

She held her other hand out, brows raised. She couldn't be sure whether this one or the one that had run had her phone, but decided to give it a shot.

The kid glanced behind him, then back at her, weighing his chance at getting free.

If Darcy had to be honest, he had a pretty good chance. She wasn't up to chasing him that far, and she wasn't even sure if it was him or his companion that had lifted her phone.

He saved her from having to figure it out when he pulled the little purple phone from his pocket.

Without a word, she held her free hand out. He took a step forward, and she raised the taser. "Slowly."

Taking a very slow step, he brought himself level with her, standing mere inches away, and carefully placed her phone in her open palm.

When her fingers curled around it, his elbow went right for her cheek.

She hadn't even seen him move until it was too late.

Before she could right herself and hit him with her taser, he yanked the phone back out of her hands and threw her against the car beside him.

She would have picked herself up and gone after him, but the car behind her had a metal railing all along the outer edge. The world blurred when her head hit the side railing of the car. Distantly, she could see him running away and disappearing around the corner, but her head pounded as she struggled to keep herself standing. She gripped the car beside her, clenching her eyes shut against the ringing in her head, but it wouldn't stop.

The world darkened as she fought to even out her breathing. She struggled against the throbbing in her head, but all too soon, she grew too tired for that. A moment later, she passed out in a heap on the asphalt, her taser beside her outstretched hand.

/+/+/+/+/+/

"This is exactly why I told her she should move in here. With us."

Jane's voice pulled Darcy from the sweetest dream. She'd been reliving a moment from her childhood, an early Christmas when she hadn't yet lost faith in her father, and the three of them had been gathered around the table sharing a lovely meal.

"You are right, but we can't force her. We can only do our best to protect her."

"She needs a bodyguard then. Someone to make sure she's safe when she isn't here. I don't trust her neighborhood. It's not the best place…"

"I will see to it that it is done. Do not worry, my dear Jane." Thor's big, rumbling voice pulled the last cobwebs of sleep from Darcy's brain as she finally began to pick up the details of her surroundings.

She was back at SHIELD, in the medical wing she'd only visited once during the tour she'd had on her first day.

Dismayed, she groaned and reached a hand up to her head. She felt mostly fine, except for a painful throbbing on her right temple.

"Darcy."

Jane's voice grew louder as she approached and sat beside the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"How did I get here?"

"Someone from the grocery called the police. They found me as your emergency contact, and I told SHIELD, so…"

Darcy groaned at what was implied in the rest of her statement. They'd have been set on high alert, so everyone in the base most likely knew what had happened by now, and was examining the incident for any possible security breach.

"It was nothing. Just some stupid kids…"

"Why did they attack you?"

Darcy sighed, the movement making her wince as her head ached even worse from the strain. She suspected a concussion.

"They were robbing cars. I tried to stop them."

"Darcy…" Jane's tone was gently reprimanding, but she left it at that. Darcy was grateful.

"Can you tell them… just make sure that... it's really nothing. I shouldn't have gone after them."

"So why did you?"

Darcy's sigh this time was heavy and long. She felt tired. "I just got annoyed, and I couldn't leave them. They took my phone."

"Mmhmm." Jane smiled faintly, clearly trying to make light of the situation and failing. She was too much of a worrier.

"Well before you get any more ideas about heroics, you have a concussion, so you've been officially ordered to stay here until further notice."

Darcy pulled herself to sitting, pulling back the covers and moving carefully to standing. Jane didn't try to stop her.

"I can't stay here. I have to get back to my place. I need my space."

"Nothing I can do about it. Nick Fury's orders."

"So I'm a prisoner here?" Cue thoughts of the dark-haired man she _wasn't_ thinking about more often than was good for her. The words tasted like ash in her mouth. Her penchant for hyperbole had gotten hold of her, yet again. Her situation was nothing like his, and she felt stupid for thinking it even for a second.

Jane's voice became flustered at the very idea. "Of course not. You're here for your own safety. They just want to make sure everything's okay."

"Everything is fine. They were a couple of stupid kids I let get the drop on me. End of story. Nothing more to it."

"Are you sure?"

Jane studied her carefully, letting Darcy see the clear worry in her light eyes. Jane's work here was very valuable, she knew that, and there was no way she would put it at risk.

"I'm absolutely positive."

Darcy took a tentative step, and when she managed just fine, headed toward the door.

"Darcy, it's only a couple of days. You can take it easy for a little while, and then head back to your place afterwards."

Too tired to argue, Darcy left the room. Since her first day, she'd never come to this end of the complex. It was located at the end of the living quarters, right on the edge of where they ended and the training rooms began on the ground floor.

Jane moved in front of her and gently guided her down the hallway toward the elevator. Darcy still felt a bit dizzy on her feet, and let Jane load her up into the elevator. When it started, she nearly tumbled back and had to reach out and grip onto the railing for support.

Maybe she would be better here just for the night.

"I'll show you to the room they have set up for you. It's really nice. I tried to get the one right next to ours, but that was taken. Still, you're really close by, so if you need anything, you can just page or call us..."

Like she needed Jane and Thor worrying on her and checking on her every 5 minutes. They had enough to deal with without worrying about her weak little _incident_.

When they reached the resident wing, Jane led her to a room down and across the hallway from hers. She handed Darcy a plastic keycard then pulled a second from her pocket and swiped the door open.

"Just in case you need anything."

They stepped inside to a cozy, nicely furnished apartment slightly smaller than Jane's, currently being occupied by Tony Stark and a man in a suit Darcy didn't recognize.

"Hey. Took you long enough."

Darcy rolled her eyes as the tech genius approached her. Before she could offer a snarky comment in return, he shoved a little glass screen into her hands.

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

"It's a little something I played around with when Pepper was temporarily incapacitated. She thought it might come in handy for you. Sortof my new tablet prototype. Keep it under wraps, it's not ready for market yet."

He touched the glass which lit up under his fingers and after a few swipes, pulled up a browser with all the music she'd thought she'd lost.

She glanced up at him in amazement.

"How did you—?" Out of the blue last week her ipod had crashed and she'd had techies at SHIELD look at it. They'd declared it unsalvageable.

"What can I say? Technology loves me. Enjoy."

He headed to the door, pausing before leaving and glancing back at her with a grin. "Oh by the way, I loaded a few extras into there too for when you get bored. Have fun."

And with that he was gone.

Darcy simply stared in amazement at her new favorite device as Jane moved to the suit and introduced herself.

Pulling herself away from her gift was hard, but Darcy managed, barely.

"Who are you?"

So she wasn't her best self at the moment. But give a girl a break, with the concussion and the stress of the past week, she figured she deserved to be cut a little slack.

The man didn't seem to take it to heart. His stone exterior cracked into a smile as he introduced himself. "Lars Greystone. I'm your new bodyguard."

The pounding in her head was getting stronger. Darcy glared at Jane as she rubbed her temple. Jane had the good sense to look apologetic, but that was as far as she would go.

"Thanks but no thanks. I don't need a bodyguard."

"Darcy—"

"Jane. No. Lars, look. I'm sure you're a great bodyguard, and you do… what you do, very well. But I'm perfectly fine, and perfectly safe, and right now I would appreciate more than anything if you just left me alone."

She moved to the door, fighting to disguise her dizziness as she swiped the door open and motioned for both of them to leave.

All she felt like doing at that moment was collapsing on the couch for the rest of the night.

Sadly, though, it didn't look as though that would happen.

"Sorry." And curse the man, he actually did look sorry. "Can't do that. I'll just be out here. You can head back to your room, and I won't disturb you in the slightest."

Darcy's glare returned to Jane. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled sympathetically at her. "It's just until you feel better. And we make sure you're safe."

"Jane, if I find out this is your fault…"

"Hey. If it was, there's good reason for it. But it's not. As much as I would like to take credit for it," she met Darcy's angry glare head on as she continued in her stern all-business-Jane voice, "SHIELD takes an assault on one of its employees very seriously. If it was really nothing, then everything will go back to normal in no time. For now though, just get some sleep."

Darcy sighed, too tired to argue, and collapsed on the couch at the center of the room. "Fine."

As Darcy's ire deflated, Jane came over and hugged her before stepping back.

"If it makes you feel any better…" Jane left her spare key on the table beside the door, then stepped in front of it to open it. "If you need anything, you know what to do."

"Thanks." She really was grateful, she just wasn't feeling well enough to appreciate it. Jane understood.

"I'll check on you later."

When the door slid closed, Darcy was left with Lars in the suit. He didn't say anything, or move from his position standing in front of the hallway.

Darcy glanced around the room, which was plenty big enough for two, and back to the couch.

"I guess this is where you'll be sleeping."

"If that's alright with you."

"Hmm.." Darcy stood and shuffled across the room to the doorway beyond, opening it to discover a plush, queen sized bed piled high with pillows. Suddenly, all she felt like doing was sleeping.

"Goodnight."

She barely heard Lars' response before she closed the door, threw herself on the sheets and passed out.

/+/+/+/+/+/

After a few more hours' worth of sleep, Darcy felt much better. She picked up the magic tablet from the bedside table where she'd tossed it hours before and tapped it awake with her finger to discover it was sometime past midnight.

Her nap had thrown her off schedule. Sitting up tentatively, she was pleasantly surprised to discover that her head didn't ache nearly as much. A beep brought her back to the little tablet, where several missed calls from her mother flashed on the semi-transparent screen.

Apparently, Tony had also somehow managed to import her phone number and restore all her contacts.

Not in the mood to face the conversation she knew she had to have with her mother, she got out of bed and explored the room.

The room was a generous size and sparsely decorated, but with undeniably good taste. Expensive taste. A spacious bathroom opened up to her left, and a walk-in closet to her right was complete with floor to ceiling mirrors at the back. It was the kind of room a girl dreamed of.

Yet she still couldn't imagine herself living here, boxed up inside SHIELD's headquarters.

It felt suffocating somehow.

Again, she thought of Loki and felt foolish for the turn to her thoughts. The reality of his situation sunk in even more deeply than before as she looked around the living space she now shared with Lars the bodyguard. She'd barely been stuck in this place for a few hours, and she was already getting antsy.

He was stuck in a completely unfamiliar world, stripped of all powers and locked up in a literal glass box under constant surveillance, watched by people who were trying to plan his demise.

Really, it seemed like a miracle in itself that he hadn't snapped and gone crazy already.

Wanting to get out of her room, she tentatively opened the door and glanced down the hallway, half expecting Lars to be standing exactly where she'd left him hours ago.

The hallway was empty.

She took a couple steps into the hall, and when she couldn't hear anything in the living area, headed back to the front room.

A click sounded behind her and nearly made her jump out of her skin. A couple seconds later, a half-naked Lars stepped out of another bathroom at the end of the hall and smiled when he saw her.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. Just needed a shower."

The man was a wall of muscle. Too stunned for words, Darcy stared up and down his chest at the prime view she was being gifted with. Every inch of him was thickly corded muscle, a scar here and there reminding her of his line of work and giving an edge to what could otherwise easily be a model from a Calvin Klein catalogue.

When she moved her eyes up to his face, she saw that he was embarrassed. Feeling like a horrible voyeur, Darcy apologized and backed away toward the door.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize... I didn't mean to interrupt... I'm just going to say hi to Jane…"

"I can come. Just give me a minute."

"NO! I mean… no, that's fine. I'll just be a few minutes. She's literally right across the hall. You can stay here. Relax." Get dressed.

He frowned at her words, but before he could protest, she lifted the keycard from the table and stepped out of the door with a rushed "Be back soon!"

When she stood in the hallway, finally alone, she took a deep breath.

She was really out of sorts today. The knock on her head had definitely done funny things to her brain. She had never been one to ogle men like that. Appreciate them from afar, definitely, but she had her dignity. And a sense of propriety.

A silly laugh bubbled up from inside of her.

Poor Lars. The big, tough bodyguard had gotten shy when he'd caught her staring at him.

She seemed to have a way of doing that to people. Setting them on edge, making them uncomfortable.

Shrugging her shoulders, she turned down the hall and took the elevator down towards the lower levels.

She wasn't sure why she'd decided to go, but her feet were carrying her straight to Loki's cage and she didn't feel like arguing with them.

She tried to be quiet and stealthy but had a feeling she was sucking terribly at it. Luckily, at this hour the hallways were empty and she didn't run into anyone as she stepped down the short steel hallway and onto the little balcony that was fast becoming her new hangout.

She wasn't sure what she would find. Loki, asleep. Loki, awake and pacing.

She found neither.

Instead, he seemed to be reading, his shoulders folded over his knees as he sat cross-legged with a book in his lap.

The position looked so innocent it made her want to smile.

If anyone saw him like this, who could think such a man was evil?

She took her time studying him, inadvertently comparing him to Lars and most of the men of her acquaintance. He was tall, probably taller than Lars, though having never stood next to him face to face she couldn't be sure. And there was a kind of cold beauty to his features that was still very masculine. He was handsome and beautiful wrapped up together in a prickly, brooding package.

He took her breath away.

"You have come late."

His words broke the silence and those deep green eyes of his locked with hers. The large, barred-over windows behind him were dark with the night, making the space feel smaller and more intimate than it did during her daytime visits. He felt closer to her, and his voice sounded louder.

He looked upset, leveling a puzzled look at her. Too late, she remembered she still had the bandage on the right side of her head.

"What happened?"

His voice was deep and sharp, sending a shiver through her. The dizziness seemed to be coming back to her, and the power and emotion in his words seemed to hit her harder than usual.

"Nothing. Just a bump on the head." She yanked the bandage off only to reveal the growing bruise across her right temple. Loki's nostrils flared but his expression didn't change, his face carved from stone.

Dary sighed, wanting all of a sudden to be closer to him.

She couldn't say why. Couldn't imagine asking him of all people for comfort. But somehow, the space in between them felt wrong. The walls of his glass cage felt wrong.

"Why have you come?"

"I missed you."

He looked taken aback by her words, and that more than anything else bolstered her courage to stay. If he'd been cocky, if he'd mocked her or claimed that such an emotion was foolish, she would have most likely stormed off in a huff back to her room.

Instead, he looked like she'd uttered the last words he'd ever expected from her.

And oddly enough, they were true.


	8. Chapter 8

This was a really challenging chapter to write, but I felt like it was really needed to take a step forward in their relationship. I hope it doesn't come across as too sudden or anything and…. Review always welcome. Enjoy.

/+/+/+/+/+/

CHAPTER 8

/+/+/+/+/+/

She leaned over the banister, and a foreign tugging at his heart had him realizing he was concerned for her. The bump on her head was a vicious one, already turning black and blue, with a jagged cut running through the middle of it. She seemed a little unstable on her feet, and for the first time he was truly hit by how far up she was.

His glass cage was surrounded by a drop of 30 feet or more, and outwards from that, a gridded metal walkway was the only floor. The little balcony she visited was a dozen feet or so higher, and if she leaned over too far, she could easily fall…

Who had done that to her?

He had no reason to be concerned about her. She was nothing to him. Nothing but the only visitor who came simply to spend time with him.

She never demanded anything from him, she never tried to mold him or make him into whatever image of him she had. She simply looked at him with her too-big blue eyes and that raw emotion that made him feel weaker than all the criticisms he'd ever endured from his father ever had.

His concern was assuaged when she sunk down to the floor, the glass railing allowing him to see her curled against it, still facing him.

"I'm stuck here for the night. They won't let me leave."

She sounded frustrated. All too easily, his anger at the Midgardians, at SHIELD and the Avengers, rose up from inside of him. What reason could they have for keeping her here?

What did it matter to him?

No, it was only another reason for him to hate them. Another point to hold against them.

He didn't bother contemplating the fact that she was one of them.

Fighting to rein in the anger, he tried asking her again in as unemotional a tone as he could muster.

"Why? What happened?"

She shrugged, silent for a moment before she glanced up, worried that he hadn't seen the motion.

"I went after some thieves. My mistake."

"Thieves?"

"It was nothing, just a couple of kids looking for valuables. Except now, everyone's worried that maybe it was more than that. I tried to explain but I don't think they'll listen."

He couldn't blame them. They'd allowed Darcy into their sanctuary, and a threat to her could threaten all of them. The thought of all of SHIELD in a panic, worried and unsettled, felt good, but not at the cost of a threat to her life.

He had no right to be concerned. He was the biggest threat of all.

Yet there was no denying the worry that weighed in his chest. SHIELD might be powerful, but she was weak, vulnerable. An easy target.

Sooner or later, Thanos would find him and whether he wanted it or not, as long as she was nearby she would be caught in the crossfire. And he found he truly did not want that.

She did not deserve to die at the hands of Thanos. She should not pay for his mistakes.

He was so weak.

The worry, the concern, too many emotions to name bubbled up inside of him and he had no idea what to do with them. No idea how to cope with them all. His control was slipping. The rage, the weakness, and the rawness made his muscles shake.

He needed it out. He wanted to cut his concern for her out from his chest, flay his heart open and rip out the caring that was festering there, like a bad infection that needed cutting away.

He threw a fist at the glass, pounding in hot anger. She turned his icy rage up to an inferno.

"Loki?"

She'd jumped when he'd slammed his fist against the glass and was now sitting up, looking at him warily.

"Leave."

His tone was bitter. Her voice was more hesitant when she called his name again. He interrupted her.

"Leave. Now."

"Why?"

Why? For too many reasons to name, reasons he couldn't put to words or share with her because it would prove just how weak he truly was.

"What is wrong? Why are you being like this?"

"Perhaps I am sick of your constant visits. Perhaps I simply need a moment to myself, a moment to think and to not be studied and examined in my cage."

"I don't study you."

"Don't you? Then why do you keep coming? Why do you watch me, ask questions about me?"

"God, are you hearing yourself right now? I'm trying to get to know you! How can you be so paranoid?"

"Look at me!" He threw his fists around his pathetic prison. "Look at where I am! How can I not be? You think I cannot see what you are trying to do? Trying to win me over, trying to bring me to your side so I will help your precious friends!"

"That's not true! I never asked for anything from you!"

And she hadn't. She'd asked after his comfort, tried to find out what he liked, sought to make him comfortable. And she'd shared more with him than he'd shared with her.

"I will not help you. I will not help the Avengers." The words were like a mantra repeating in his head. But who was he trying to convince, her or himself?

"I don't care! That's not what I'm trying to…. ugh. That's not what I meant. I do care. You can do what you like, you can help, or you can choose not to. I can't do anything about that. I can't make you change your mind. But I want to understand why. I want to know you."

"Why?"

"Because I care, okay? Because I care. Even though I really shouldn't."

The words were a shock, a cool balm to the wound he'd exposed in his chest. It deflated his anger and left him with nothing but shame.

She let out a harsh laugh. "God knows why. I think you're right. I should leave."

She pulled herself carefully up off the floor, and suddenly he didn't want her to leave.

He'd made a mistake. He'd pushed her to see her true motives, and while he didn't regret that, he regretted upsetting her. She'd been hurt and tired, and he'd only made things worse.

He was so damn tired of being trapped in his cage.

"I am sorry."

The words were low and quiet, barely a whisper in the spacious room, but he knew she heard them because she stopped mid-step. She glanced down at him carefully, weighing the decision of whether to stay or not.

"I have to be getting back…"

He didn't contradict her or ask her to stay, and she didn't move for a brief moment.

Then she leaned on the railing again, looking down at him with compassion.

"Loki, why are you so determined for everyone to hate you?"

He didn't answer, but then, she didn't look as though she expected him to. She rubbed her forehead, reminding him of her injury and refocusing his anger on the people who had inflicted it.

"I think there's something big you keep forgetting."

"And that is?"

Darcy's expression turned inwards, and for the faintest breath, she didn't look like the young, fragile human she was. She looked wise and far beyond her years.

"I may not know much about you or where you came from, but here is what I do know. You are a criminal. You tried to kill my friends, tried to harm my planet and wipe out an entire city in a place I happen to call home. You tried to kill yourself rather than ask your brother, a man who would give his life for you, for help. And yet somehow, I'm here. I haven't run off screaming. I can't really explain why, but I come here, and I spend time with you, and you haven't managed to scare me away yet. So whatever you're trying to do, however you're trying to push me away, you're going to have to figure out another way to do it."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why haven't you given up yet?"

"Why? Because…" she paused to think, and those precious seconds felt like the longest of his life. "Because I think you're worth more than that."

The words reverberated through him, and he let himself savor them.

"You don't know everything. If you knew the truth, you would not stand so calmly in front of me."

"Try me."

It was difficult to resist the challenge in her eyes. But she was asking him to trust her, trust her with knowledge and secrets he'd never shared with anyone before. Secrets that could put her life in danger.

Darcy took a step back, falling onto the bench behind her, letting her obvious fatigue show.

"You are tired." He needed a change of subject. Something that would calm the violent emotions swirling inside of him, quell the storm.

"I don't want to sleep. Not yet."

She leaned against the back wall, too far away from him, and brought her knees up to her chest, looking so vulnerable. She deserved to be protected. Cherished.

"Loki."

"Yes?"

"Tell me one thing about yourself that no one else knows."

Her smile was indulgent and sleepy all at once, reawakening the tightness in his chest that he'd felt earlier. He could easily deny her, and she was probably expecting that. He wanted to surprise her.

He could have settled with something inane, something safe and harmless that he'd kept secret. He didn't.

Certain he would curse himself for it later, he finally allowed himself to admit to a truth he'd never wanted to really acknowledge.

"I wanted to die so I could watch Thor suffer. Because he has everything that I can never have."

The moment the words left his mouth, he was stunned with the enormity of what he'd just confessed. He told himself that he'd tossed the ugly truth in her face so she would see that he wasn't worth caring for, not truly, and that her feelings were misplaced.

Or perhaps it was a desperate attempt at redemption. Perhaps, if she thought he was worthy, then he could be saved.

Perhaps he was not without all hope.

"Loki…"

She didn't try to comfort him with false platitudes. She didn't run from him either. Instead, she allowed him to see the caring and the sincerity in her eyes, and she lifted a hand to the glass of the railing.

Her eyes never left his as she reached her fingers out, splaying them one by one on the glass as though reaching out to him.

And across the distance, he swore he could almost feel her fingers reaching out and touching him, at the spot on his chest just above his heart.

He wanted to touch her.

He despised physical contact. Thor, Odin and most Asgardians frequently expressed their emotions through physical contact, offering hugs and pats on the back at the drop of a hat, and he'd always resented it. He craved his own space, needed room to think and intentionally kept people at arm's length.

Darcy was different. She was small and human, but beautifully proportioned, her hair falling in dark waves around her face. Her skin looked soft and warm.

He wanted to know what it felt like.

Ignoring the unusual desire, he took a step back.

Darcy broke away too, the intimate moment fading away all too quickly.

"I should be getting back. They're probably already looking for me."

The words reminded her of the upset she'd had earlier today. She'd become so wrapped up in Loki she'd nearly forgotten about the incident altogether.

"I'll come back though. Soon." She tried her best to sound encouraging. It felt as though they'd stepped across an invisible threshold tonight. Something had changed between them, and she wanted to see where it would lead. She didn't want to take a step back.

"I will await your return."

She smiled down at him at his words, a bright, beaming smile that seemed to light up the whole room. Helpless against his reaction to her, he simply let himself savor the satisfaction he felt at eliciting such a reaction. And because he couldn't help himself, just before he heard her pull open the door and step out of the room, he spoke into the silence:

"Good night."


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

/+/+/+/+/+/

Darcy took the stairs two at a time, nearly breaking out in a run to get back to her room. No doubt Lars had wondered what was taking her so long and gone to look for her. If anyone found out about where she'd been…

She nearly came to a dead stop as the thought really hit her.

What was she doing? For some reason, something about him told her he was good, against all visible evidence to the contrary. Everything she'd said about him, about what he'd done... it was true and he hadn't tried to deny it.

If she was anyone else, she'd be warning herself away from a guy like that.

No doubt if Jane found out, that's exactly what she'd do. As would anyone else.

And Loki, what would he think? He had actually opened up to her, albeit only slightly. But if anyone else found out, he'd probably never speak to her again.

What was wrong with her that made that thought so unappealing?

She did think there was so much more to him. But was that only because she hoped it was true, just as much as Thor did? Or was something truly there underneath everything?

His words from moments earlier came back to her with clarity. He'd shown concern for her injury, he'd actually apologized to her, a feat that she'd never been able to get one of her exes to do, ever. And he'd shared something with her that was big. He'd started to open up to her.

The giddiness that thought brought to her was too much for her to handle. She should remain level-headed, approach the situation with caution.

Perhaps the fact that he was confined was helping her to feel calm around him. How would she react if he were standing in front of her, free of his prison?

She couldn't even imagine it.

Pushing the thoughts away and tamping down her smile, she pushed open the door to her apartment after swiping her key card, and did her best to even out her breathing.

The fridge door in the small kitchen to the left closed as Lars poked his head out.

"Hey, had a good time?"

Great, so he hadn't gone to look for her yet. She'd been lucky.

"Yeah, didn't mean to keep you up. I'm heading to bed now."

"Goodnight."

Without looking back, too afraid that her breathlessness and the lie in her eyes would betray her, she headed back to her room and climbed under the covers.

Her head was beginning to ache again, no doubt from the concussion, but she couldn't seem to close her eyes and sleep.

Tonight was the first night they slept under the same roof, albeit nearly a mile away from each other. Though they'd done up her room really nicely, it still felt foreign to her. Out of place.

It had to be so much worse for him.

Her thoughts returned to Loki and his brother.

The magnitude of what he'd shared with her… she was willing to bet he'd never admit such a thing to Thor. Which had to mean he trusted her, even if it was only with this small thing.

Her realization washed away the doubt that had flooded her mind as she'd walked back to her room. If he could admit such a thing, if he could open up to her that much, then she had to be right. There was good in him somewhere, and if there was something worth saving, then she had to do what she could.

She could know the man underneath, and she could fight for him.

She'd somehow sensed from the beginning that there was so much below his icy surface, and she was more determined than ever to know what he kept hidden so deeply inside himself. She would be his ally.

The thought of her somehow saving a God so powerful he'd nearly blown up an entire city was so crazy she couldn't help letting a giggle escape. Maybe it was the concussion making her wistful and dramatic. Whatever it was, it lit up a sliver of hope inside of her for the dark, brooding Asgardian.

And as she fell asleep, she couldn't help but look forward to the next time she saw him, hoping she would steadily chip away at those walls so she could see more of the man underneath.

/+/+/+/+/+/

The next morning was considerably rougher than the night before. Darcy's faint concussion from the evening before had blossomed into a full on migraine, and it had only worsened throughout the day to the point that it simply hurt to think.

"Why don't you call it a day? You've done enough for now."

"Jane…" She didn't want to give up and admit that it was bothering her. That would only encourage Jane to keep fussing and trying to persuade her to stay in the compound with her.

As she stood, Lars pushed off from his post leaning against the wall behind her. She didn't know how someone could sit all day in one position like that and not want to blow his brains out. She had to hand it to him, he was one dedicated bodyguard.

At lunch, she'd thought of going to see Loki again, but with Lars constantly shadowing her, she decided against it.

Besides, the silliness of the night before had faded away to replaced with gritty realism and she didn't have such confidence that she could win him over or sway him in any way whatsoever.

After all, she was simply a human, and his world was so different from hers. He was forced to remain here for now, locked away and chained, but if he had the slightest chance of leaving, there was no question. He'd simply disappear. There was no denying his stubbornness. She felt tired even thinking of trying to change his mind.

Instead, she figured she might as well spend time with him when she felt like it and learn more about him because she was curious.

The room faded in and out for a second as her head pounded with her heartbeat.

"I'm fine, I just need a minute."

Jane glanced at Lars but Darcy waved a hand at him, desperate to ward him off if only to get a moment of solitary peace and quiet for once in the entire day. He barely let her go to the bathroom without trying to come with her.

He looked like he'd been about to argue, but a ringing stopped him. Pulling out his cell phone, he excused himself and stepped outside.

"Darcy, you clearly aren't feeling well…"

"It's nothing. It'll pass. I'll just run to the bathroom and be right back."

Jane nodded, though her expression was disapproving. Thankful for the solitude, she stepped into the hallway and headed to the bathroom.

Luckily she didn't run into Lars along the way, which meant he'd wandered down another hallway for his private phone conversation. Probably Nick Fury sending him more orders.

Without really paying attention to her steps, she walked into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror, not really seeing anything.

Her vision was blurry, and the pounding in her head was growing louder and louder by the minute. She just needed a moment to sit and rest….

Stepping forward, she placed her hands on the countertop and leaned her weight into them, nearly folding over herself.

So maybe she was being stupid and stubborn. She ought to head back to her room and rest, and come back when she was feeling better.

Decided, she pushed off the countertop and winced as she stepped back to the research lab she'd been working in with Jane.

She nearly tripped on the carpet as she stepped, and the lights felt too bright. Migraines had always been her undoing. She tried to take another step, and one more, before the pain was so great she could only fold over with a wince, gripping her head in her hands.

Some pills to knock her out right now would be just perfect.

She tried to stand, but failed. Not trusting her own balance, she moved to sitting and curled her hands around her head, hoping and waiting for the fierce pounding in her head to stop.

A loud clatter of footsteps made her gasp, elevating the pain that threatened to tear her brain apart. It was followed by a louder rush of steps, and a gasp.

"Darcy, are you ok? You need help. Lars…"

Before Darcy could process the words, she felt herself being lifted in large, strong arms and cradled against a solid, warm chest. Pressing her head against his shoulder seemed to help somewhat, so she let her eyes fall shut and didn't question it as Lars stepped lightly but quickly down the hall and back towards the dormitory.

Jane was protesting and fussing, but something shushed her before she felt herself being deposited in the fluffiest blankets she'd ever slept in. Someone was tucking her into them, then turned off the lights, leaving her in blessed darkness and allowing her thoughts to clear up the slightest bit.

"I'll check on you in a bit."

Lars and Jane left her, closing the door silently, and Darcy found she didn't have the energy to fight it anymore. Letting her thoughts slip away, she drifted into sleep.

/+/+/+/+/+/

He'd dreamed of Thanos again, binding him in chains and laughing at his torture before abandoning him to the dark creatures that made up his vicious army. He'd had this dream many times before, with variations on the same theme, but always he ended up alone, shouting for help with no one to hear him. No one to save him.

Except that night, it was different.

When Thanos had abandoned him and Loki lay weak, locked in his iron chains and shivering from the emotional and physical abuse, when he called out for help, he'd heard her voice, faintly calling his name as though across a great distance.

Immediately, alarm had spiked through him. If he heard her, then others must have heard her too. She was in danger, she couldn't save him.

Yet why had she been there? Why would she call out to him now, when he'd never before received an answer? Never before been freed from his chains?

How could a human hope to help free him from the darkest of all creatures in the universe?

He would sooner destroy her.

Yet there was no denying that hearing her voice, finally having a response, had shaken the cold, dark loneliness and hopelessness that had always engulfed him.

It had given him renewed energy to fight, and he thought he'd nearly broken out of his chains before he'd woken from the dream with a violent shake.

Awake, and back in the glass prison the Midgardians had crafted so cleverly for him.

A different sort of torture entirely.

Loki looked around, sighing in distaste as he tried to brush off the residual fear and adrenaline that ran through his veins from the dreams.

He knew they were more than dreams. They were plans of what Thanos hoped to do to him when he found him again, projected across the universe to find him and weaken him. Another cruel trick from Thanos to seek him out, trying to locate him in dreams so that he might find his true location and punish him.

All the more reason she couldn't be there. If Thanos could project himself into dreams and see her, he could invade her dreams, bring her nightmares and twist her mind into giving up their location. He could destroy her.

The thought was more worrisome than he cared to admit. He knew how to guard himself in dreams, but did she?

Did any of the foolish Midgardians who thought they had power over him?

Thor had no clue of the scope of Thanos' powers, of what he yearned to do and the pain and torture he would inflict to make it happen.

If he did, he would surely bury Loki halfway across the universe where it wouldn't matter what happened to him. So long as his Jane was safe.

And as long as Jane was protected, Darcy would be too.

Loki brushed the negative thoughts away before they could unsettle him.

He'd had enough of thinking of Thor as his enemy. He'd hated him at times, loathed him, been jealous of him, and wished him gone, but with Thanos hanging over his head like a hangman's noose, he no longer had the energy to spare hating Thor.

Perhaps that was why he'd felt comfortable enough to admit what he had to Darcy.

For so long, his whole world had been Asgard, father Odin and Thor, and things that had seemed momentous and horrible were so inconsequential now next to the reality of his situation.

What did it matter what Nick Fury decided to do with him?

He had no hope of a real future.

He hadn't realized all that he was losing when he'd let go that night on the bifrost, but there was no turning back.

A flicker of blue eyes interrupted his thoughts as he unwillingly remembered Darcy from the night before.

She was exactly the reason why he could never help Nick Fury. Humans were weak, so frail. While the Avengers and their armies could put on a good show of force, if they faced down Thanos' true wrath they would never survive.

The hopelessness ate away at him day after day, the way he knew Thanos hoped it would.

He couldn't allow his mind to be defeated.

Straightening his spine, he looked around his cage with a bitter laugh.

She hadn't come today. She'd been coming so regularly in the past few weeks that he'd actually missed her. Not because he was attached to her, not in the slightest.

But she was a distraction from the solitude and the silence, and she didn't nag him with questions he didn't want to answer.

She simply shared her life with him.

He still couldn't shake the sound of her voice calling out to him from his thoughts as the main door to his prison enclosure opened.

Thor was back to see him, this time with a determined-looking Jane in tow.

Intrigued, he waited for them to step up to his glass and speak.

"I thought perhaps today you could benefit from learning about this Earth science Jane works with so well. It is very technical, but I think you might like it."

"I have no interest whatsoever."

Daunted, Thor frowned but Jane walked up to him with a no-nonsense look, meeting his eyes sharply before pulling Thor forward.

"I think that you should at least know what you're giving up before you do so, don't you?"

He didn't answer. She must have taken that as a request to continue, as she launched into a detailed explanation of how her science of physics and astronomy helped her to reconstruct the bifrost. He didn't pay attention until her explanation turned to the futile battle he'd waged in their human city of New York, when he'd last been fully under the control of Thanos.

"Tony explained what he saw beyond the wormhole, and we need to be prepared for when that happens again. I believe we can do that, and that is what Fury and SHIELD is working for—"

She continued, but his mind was frozen on her previous words. They thought to prepare to fight an army like Thanos'? Did they not realize they would lose everything?

"No."

Jane stopped mid-sentence with a frown and studied him carefully. Thor placed a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"No?"

"You will lose instantly. It is pointless to try and fight him."

Thor, who had remained stoic through Jane's explanations, actually puffed up with pride as he reminded Loki of his ridiculous band of Avengers.

"We stopped them the first time, when we are better prepared for next time it won't be a problem."

"The next time will not be anything like the first."

"Oh? And what will it be then?"

"So much worse than you can ever know."

Thor frowned as Jane continued to study him. She was harder to read, guarded with her emotions, intelligent eyes assessing.

"Maybe with your help, we all stand a better chance. You aren't alone you know."

The words were eerie, echoing his dream and Darcy crying out to him. Loki masked his surprise under his stern expression, fighting to maintain his unruffled outer appearance.

If they only knew what state his mind was in.

"I have no wish to fight a losing battle."

Jane met his eyes and the two were silent for a long moment before she pulled away and headed toward the exit.

"Think about it."

Thor accompanied her to the door and saw her out with a kiss before he came back to stand in front of Loki.

"You must acknowledge her work is brilliant. There is so much more than we knew…"

"Her science is not magic. She does not understand our world."

Thor looked disgruntled, and for a moment, Loki was reminded of his frustration as a boy when he hadn't gotten what he'd wanted. Still so certain he would get his own way in the end.

"By that account, I do not either. I have no magic."

Loki did not comment, but the look in his eyes was cold enough.

"You spend so much energy fighting them all. Think what you could do with it instead, if you worked with them. Do you truly believe it is such a hopeless cause? Are you willing to give up your life out of stubbornness?"

"I have no choice. It is lost either way."

"What does that mean?" When Loki refused to answer, Thor's expression tightened with frustration and anger. "Brother, what can I do to make you open up to me?"

"We are not brothers."

Thor stepped back, suddenly resigned in a way Loki had rarely seen him.

"And that is always how you will think of us, isn't it?"

Loki did not dare answer.

"I am such a fool…"

A sarcastic reply came to Loki's lips, but he found he couldn't speak it aloud. He wanted to reach out, climb out of the hole he'd buried himself in, but his grave was too deep.

Anyone who tried to help him would simply end up buried alongside him.

Thor did not deserve that. The shred of concern for Thor Loki didn't want to admit to grew bigger as he looked at his brother.

He had everything, and yet somehow, he still appeared weak.

Loki would lose his own battle, and he wouldn't allow Thor to be dragged down with him.

The thought echoed in his mind as his brother hung his head and left the room, abandoning Loki to the silence that enveloped him once more.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

/+/+/+/+/+/

The bright midday sun pulled Darcy awake from the depths of her dreams with a violent start. She wasn't sure how long she'd been sleeping, but her migraine was all but forgotten.

She'd dreamed about Loki being a prisoner, except this time somehow he wasn't sealed in a glass cage but chained to the ground. He looked like he'd been through hell and back, his wrists rubbed raw from his shackles and his eyes more hopeless than she'd ever seen them.

She'd tried to reach him but there'd been some sort of invisible wall that kept her away. And just before she'd woken up, she'd heard someone whisper his name, a voice she'd never heard before, that called to all of her darkest nightmares.

Shaking off the cold fear from her dream, she forced herself out of bed. After her little episode no doubt Jane was even more worried about her. The sooner she got herself back to normal, and back to her own apartment, the better.

She quickly dressed and readied for the morning, surprised not to see Lars lurking in the kitchen. Opening the door to her room, she nearly bumped into Jane.

"Oh, hey, I was coming to check on you. How're you feeling?"

"Much better. Perfect. So perfect I think I'm ready to head home now."

"Nice try. Fury wants to talk to you."

"Director Fury?" Darcy's voice was startled. Sure, she worked for the man, but he was so busy with so many things at once that face-to-face time with him was a rare thing, and usually ominous.

"Yea come on. I brought us the coffees this time."

Darcy was helpless to protest as Jane pushed a fresh latte into her hands and pulled her along down the corridor to the elevators. Unable to resist the delicious smell, she took a sip on the way down toward the center of operations.

She'd met him multiple times and he'd been a shrewd, intelligent man that made everyone feel slightly uneasy around him. Determined to prove she was perfectly fine and ready to leave, Darcy downed the rest of the coffee to steady her nerves.

If she showed the slightest hesitance, Fury would know it.

They rounded the corner and Jane led her into their usual lab. Grateful for the quainter, familiar setting, Darcy stepped inside and met Fury's one-eyed gaze as she moved to sit in the desk chair across from him.

Straight to business, he began. "Darcy. Your phone has been disabled and wiped, and thanks to our tracker we picked it up in a dumpster just this morning."

"Great, so… everything's all taken care of."

His brows lowered, his eye flashing with thoughts she didn't dare guess at. "Not quite. We haven't located the thieves."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "So? Nothing else was stolen. They had no idea who I was."

"How can you be sure of that?"

"You really think if they knew who I was, and that I worked here," she gestured around her, "that they'd just bide their time until I went to the local grocery store to steal my cell phone?"

"You might be surprised. Spies can come from anywhere."

Darcy rolled her eyes, exasperated. "So does this mean I am not getting out of here anytime soon?"

"It does. And while you're here, I want to get something else taken care of. Lars has been moved to the room across from yours, and for the next month, you'll be working on self-defense with him."

"Month?! Are you kidding?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" His deadly serious expression shut her up. She wanted to protest but the iron-hard resolve in his expression stopped her. She knew it would be useless to fight against it.

And it wasn't that she didn't appreciate the effort. He wanted to keep everyone safe. She respected that. And she definitely did not want to become a liability that put anyone else here at risk.

Still…

"Lars is accompanying you to your place today to pick up whatever you need, and then you're to remain on the premises for the time being, until he or I determine otherwise. When you aren't training, you'll be working with Jane as usual. Once we locate the thieves, we will determine the threat to SHIELD, and from there decide what to do."

"I don't get a say in this at all?"

"Can you say with absolute certainty that what happened did not put anyone here at risk?"

Darcy sighed. "No."

"You may not realize this quite yet, but there is a war coming. We don't know for sure from where, or when, but if the last year has taught us anything, it's that we need to be prepared at all times. Are you prepared to leave and accept the consequences if you are wrong? Not to mention the cost of manpower to look after you on top of everything else we have on our plates?"

Darcy glanced over at Jane who shared a sheepish glance with her. She was almost positive this was absolutely nothing to worry about, but since she didn't have only her safety to worry about any more, now that she was a part of SHIELD….. with the stern look in his eye that reminded her of everyone who depended on him at this base, and the weight he carried on his shoulders every single day…. he'd worn her down.

"I'll stay."

The guilt washed away all her protests. Damn, but the man was good at getting his point across, and there was no arguing with his logic. She didn't envy anyone who crossed this man.

Though, wasn't that exactly what Loki was doing?

"Good. Lars will head out with you in half an hour. Your training starts this afternoon."

With a final, stoic glance at both her and Jane, he was gone.

Darcy let out the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.

"Y'know Darcy it's really not as bad as you think here."

"We'll see about that."

Jane accompanied her back to her room and kept her company before Lars finally knocked on her door and the two headed out.

/+/+/+/+/+/

She didn't greet him the way she usually did when she came to see him that afternoon.

How tragic was it that this was the highlight of his life, locked away in prison staring at the walls surrounding him, waiting for her to come visit? Waiting for Darcy's lively presence to fill up the room and pull his thoughts away from the darkness that tried so hard to consume him?

Fury hadn't visited him in several days, and since their last conversation, Thor had stayed away too. The deafening silence was broken up by the sound of her footsteps on the concrete walkway as she moved to her typical seat and rested her back against the wall with a large sigh.

The wound at her temple was healing, but he still did not like the look of it. Her energy seemed dimmed somehow. Lacking. The realization somehow kindled the fire inside of him, teasing the flames the tiniest bit higher. He fought to keep everything tightly controlled under his façade.

When she finally spoke, the topic took him by surprise.

"It's already been over one week."

He didn't have to ask what she was referring to. Thor's pronouncement that he would plead his case to Fury had come only 8 days earlier, bringing the deadline ever closer. The topic was sealed. He would not give in to them, to the pathetic demands of SHIELD and open himself up to the torture of Thanos by revealing anything to them.

Still, every day that went by his nerves felt more and more on edge.

Something dark was coming, and it would bring so much loss and agony.

She looked over at him then, her gaze determined, her blue eyes fiery with resolve.

"The deadline is irrelevant. I haven't changed my mind."

She pursed her lips but did not reply. Inevitably, his attention was drawn to them. He clenched his fists and forced himself to look away.

Captivity was truly starting to drive him mad.

"What do you think about, in here, when you're alone?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

The closeness from the last evening they'd spoken seemed to have faded away, and he couldn't bring himself to open up again. Told himself it would serve no purpose.

She let out a small laugh. His cold fury began burning hotter once again. Somehow, she always turned everything he felt up higher. He was nearly growing accustomed to it.

"Y'know, you keep talking like that and I'm going to end up figuring you out."

"You're not making any sense."

"You are easier to read than you think you are, sometimes."

"Oh? Do tell." He couldn't stop the acid frustration from entering his tone, but she appeared unaffected by it.

"Hmm… I just mean, the times you talk, and the times you don't…. they can be more revealing than you think."

"And what, exactly, have you discovered about me?"

She tilted her head in contemplation, a smile playing across her face as though this were a game. An odd amusement warred with the anger inside him. Did he actually like the challenge she was presenting him with?

"You care more about your brother than you want to admit. And I think… you never really wanted to die. You wanted everything to end, you wanted to punish him, like you told me. But you didn't want to die."

How was it that Thor had never been able to understand that, that everyone around him had assumed the worst or seen what they'd wanted to see about him, yet in less than a month this little human he'd snapped at more often than not had been able to understand that? Had noticed a distinction that he himself overlooked at times?

It didn't sit well with him. He'd been about to snap at her again, lash out as he always had and deny the truths she'd laid out in front of him, but she clutched the railing and folded over, cutting off his words.

Her hiss of pain was audible in the echoing room. She clenched her forehead and sunk down onto the floor, closing her eyes and breathing heavily for several long minutes.

The wound was still bothering her. A flash of concern flooded him, followed on its heels by impotent rage and frustration at the reminder of how helpless he was. Locked away and no good to anyone.

She needed help. He could offer her nothing.

"Ugh… sorry. I'll be fine. Just… give me a minute."

She fell quiet, breathing deeply and slowly for several breaths before lifting her face back up to meet his.

"Stupid concussion…" She tapped the side of her head in a chastising gesture.

"You need assistance." The words were painfully obvious, but he still felt the need to say them. To taste the bitterness on his tongue in the reminder that he was nothing but a prisoner.

"No, I just need some peace and quiet. Just please let me stay here for a bit…"

She let her eyes fall closed, allowing him to study her fine features as she rested.

Yet again, she'd surprised him and managed to deflate the anger that had been building inside him.

She didn't treat him as a prisoner. She'd asked to stay, as though he could have protested and denied her or forced her to leave. She saw too much and her emotions tore at him, but she was the only one who looked at him and saw only him, without the cage that locked him there. She respected his space, regardless of whether he'd voluntarily chosen it or not.

He allowed himself to selfishly enjoy her company as he watched the sunlight play over the dark curls at the edge of her cheeks. There was no denying that for a human, she was quite beautiful. Though without her large, bright eyes looking down at him, some of her energy was gone, weakened somehow.

She rested for so long he paced across his cage. He thought she might have fallen asleep, when she sat up and looked down at him, crossing her arms and placing them on the balcony ledge as though to get a better look at him.

"They're making me stay here."

He held back the sarcastic remark on the tip of his tongue, feeling uncharacteristically reluctant to utter it in the face of her fatigue. "And you don't want to?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's not as though I hate it here, I mean, I like my work, and I believe in what they do, but…. I like my space."

"You miss your home."

"Yes. It might not be the best or the nicest place in the world, but it's mine." The words were full of so much honesty it made his chest ache. How he'd longed to belong, once.

She grinned sheepishly. "You must miss your home too."

He turned away, angry at the mere thought of what he'd lost. "I have no home."

Her hopeful expression turned to confusion. "Of course you do. Thor would take you back if you would just—"

"—Asgard is not my home." He turned on her, the icy anger again lighting up the depths of his green eyes. She studied him but did not comment on it.

"Then where is your home?"

"Nowhere."

She didn't seem to know how to respond to that, looking away from his eyes.

"Someday, you will need to let someone in. And when you do, you'll choose a home for yourself."

"Needing is weakness."

"No. It's strength." This time, it was he who rolled his eyes, but she seemed unfazed and continued.

"People always seem to think you're stronger when you're alone, and that sharing pain or asking for help is weakness. But isn't it easier to keep everything inside yourself, bottled up and locked away, than to gather the courage to ask for help? And I think it takes more guts to trust someone, to put your life in their hands, than it does to lock yourself away."

He refused to acknowledge her words, though they hit him harder than he'd expected them to.

"It's safer to keep everything locked away inside you. Easier. Until it all becomes too much, and you lose control over all of it."

Her expression had taken on that same rare, wise air that always took him by surprise. All of a sudden, it no longer felt as though they were talking about him. She was speaking from personal experience, he would swear it. The thought fired up an intense curiosity about her that nearly washed all other thoughts away.

He wanted to know what it was that made her turn wistful the way she did, what it was darkening her rich blue eyes. He couldn't imagine her locking her emotions away. They were simply too strong to be contained. What had she been like, before he'd known her?

Her eyes were shadowed when they met his.

"I know I'm only a human to you, and you don't trust me. But I know you did what you did for a reason. You're not an idiot."

"How kind of you to notice."

"You won't share that reason. That's perfectly fine, it's your right. But I'm beginning to think you're more afraid of what I will think about you if you tell me the answer, than about me using that answer against you, or to turn you to our side."

"That implies I care about what you think of me."

"Don't you?"

"Why in all the realms should I?" He put all the bravado he could into the words, trying to convince himself it was true. How pathetic he was, being rattled by this slip of a girl, no matter how clever she was.

She didn't answer, and her shoulders sagged as she looked even more exhausted.

Against his will, a burning desire to find the home she'd spoken of rose up. The pain from that crushed hope was so great, he felt as though he inhaled his next breath through shards of broken glass.

'No one is hopeless Loki. You just need to ask for help."

"How simple you make everything sound. Your naïve way of thinking is truly remarkable."

There was more bitterness in his tone than he'd wanted, but she didn't rise to it. She simply shrugged, a mysterious grin lifting the corner of her lips.

He couldn't say which was the stronger emotion inside him: intense anger at how she so effortlessly provoked him yet never rose to his bait, or an inappropriate attraction. He had spent his life learning how to unravel the secrets of others, finding new ways of unsettling them, frightening them and making them bow to whatever he demanded of them.

He couldn't do that with her. Somehow, she saw through it, or she simply ignored it, and she continued to _feel_, so strongly the same suffocating warmth came over him once again.

It felt as though slowly, she was trying to rob him of his hatred, rob him of his loneliness and pain. It was ridiculous. It was untenable.

She was reminding him why he wanted to live.

"I had better go. Fury is making me train starting today."

Every day when she said goodbye a sense of loss seemed to grow. The humanity she seemed to restore in him was sucked away when she left, leaving him with a sense of disappointment and solitude. It grew worse by day. He would not ask her to stay. He would not stoop that low.

"Train?"

She looked dismayed. "Self defense. I think it's useless, I was never good at that sort of thing, and besides, who needs self defense when you have a tazer? I think he's just making an excuse to keep me here…"

"He wants you to learn to fight?"

She was too soft for that, too easy to read. Any opponent would spot her weaknesses in a heartbeat. Why did the thought cause discomfort to stir within him?

"Who knows… I might need it sometime. At least to make sure this doesn't happen again." She motioned to her forehead. The bruise was nearly healed, having already turned the pale yellow that signaled her body's recovery.

"Loki."

He wanted to know what she was thinking. He read a curiosity in her eyes, and a hesitance, but he could not see the thoughts running through her head and it was maddening. "Yes?"

"Can anyone learn magic? Or is that something you have to be born with?"

"It can be taught…to those willing to learn it."

"Is it safe?"

She was cautious, her voice soft and her expression as gentle as possible. Perhaps afraid she would anger him again.

He knew then what she wanted to ask. Would it turn her into _him_, make her do the things he'd done to her world? The thought stirred up the bitterness inside of him, but he forced himself to swallow it.

In her position, he would have asked the very same question. He forced the answer out, ashamed to relish the hope that lit up her eyes at his answer. "You will not be taken over by it, if that is your question. It is always under your control."

"Oh.. I didn't mean… I mean.. I'm sorry."

"Ask it Darcy."

Her head tilted in confusion as she peered at him. He forced himself to look away.

"Ask what?"

"The real question you are hiding. The answer you really want to know."

She didn't play dumb or deny it. Taking a deep breath, perhaps for courage, she asked the question that had been on the tip of her tongue.

"Why did you do what you did to New York city? What made you do it?"

"Does the answer really matter?" Surely she already hated him for it, and it would not matter what he said. Yet she did not act as though she hated him. He couldn't stand it.

"Yes, it matters! Why did you do it Loki? Can you really not tell me? Is the truth really so terrible?"

"For more power, to tear apart what Thor loves, to destroy those who dare to oppose me—"

"—No! It's something else, there's something else!"

They were shouting at each other, both their emotions burning hotter with anger, confusion, rage. Was that searing resentment his, or hers? He could not tell, told himself he did not care.

"The reason does not matter! It is done. You must accept that."

"No! Not when I know there is more to it."

"If you wish to throw away your time trying to pull an answer from me you will never get, you are welcome to it. But do not say I didn't warn you."

She frowned at him, her eyes sparkling with tears of rage that she wouldn't let fall. He had done this to her, he had provoked her to this. The satisfaction he normally felt would not come to him as he looked up at her.

He felt only emptiness.

"I don't know why I keep trying to save you, when you won't even be honest with me." She rose to leave, feet stomping across the metal floor as she made her way out. He had provoked her too far today. He couldn't bring himself to take the words back.

She was nearly out of his field of vision when she muttered to herself: "I should have just left you chained up."

"Chained?"

She did not appear to hear him, stomping away and slamming the door behind her. A deafening silence swallowed the room in her absence.

He glanced around his glass cage, gazing down at his wrists, unbound and free. There were no chains. A memory of his dreams assaulted him, chained to the Earth at Thanos' mercy, and a cold feeling ran down his spine at the vision.

He had only been in chains in his dreams, where he'd heard her voice.

Had Thanos somehow found him? Did he know about her?

He let out a cold laugh as the emptiness and pain flooded through him like a wave breaking on the surf. He was alone, and he would soon be destroyed by Thanos, and it was all his own fault. His reckoning was only a matter of time.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Apologies for the long delay. I had actually written most of this chapter several weeks ago, and then my computer crashed and I lost everything. I have finally gotten most things back, though I had to start this chapter again from the beginning. I think it's better for it though. Thanks to all readers for your comments and support~

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It took several long minutes for the guilt to flood him. After she'd left, he'd struggled first with shock, then fear at the realization that Thanos might be drawing closer. Whether he wanted it or not, she might find out the truth he'd been trying so hard to hide.

Then he remembered her weakness, her expression. When she'd first come to him, she'd said she'd been looking for peace and quiet. This time, she had looked so weary. She'd been in need of company, of comfort, and instead they had argued and he'd pushed her away. He'd had no other options. Yet he couldn't wipe her defeated expression from his mind.

Perhaps this was what he needed. To distance himself from everything and everyone until he met his inevitable end.

Refocusing on the pattern of lights on the concrete across from him, he clenched his hands into fists.

It would seem the tiny flicker of hope she'd ignited inside of him refused to extinguish.

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Darcy took another deep breath as she threw herself at Lars once again. And no, not the fun kind of throwing herself at him that involved a margarita, less clothing and some fluffy pillows. They'd been working for two hours now on throwing punches, something that should have been straightforward but that evidently she couldn't competently manage in the slightest.

Every time he came up to her and corrected her stance, pulled her thumb out from her fist or redirected her aim. Always with a pleasant smile on his face, trying to encourage her.

It didn't help with the frustration that was currently building up.

She tried to envision Loki standing in front of her. It fanned the flames of the anger he'd awoken inside of her, but when she tried to think of herself actually hitting him, she couldn't do it.

She'd never get close enough to him to do it. That aura of power that never left him would never let her near.

Yet that didn't stop her wanting to slap him. She was hot-headed in general, that was no secret. She'd had more than one over-the-top break up that had involved her throwing her ex's belongings out the 3rd story window. Still, she liked to think she was smart. She didn't date "fixers", or men who needed someone to take care of them, and she'd avoided emotionally unavailable men like the plague.

Her father had taught her enough about how to spot that sort of man a mile away, which was about as close as she normally got to them.

So what the hell was she doing with Loki?

He'd declared on multiple occasions that he didn't want to open up to her, he didn't want her help. And yet she still pushed, she still visited him. She clung to every scrap of information he shared, because it was rare.

Was this merely another attempt to puzzle him out in the hopes that it would help her understand her own father?

She was a fool to keep going back and seeing him. Yet there was no denying that over the course of her visits, she'd started becoming more comfortable around him. Occasionally peaceful even. She could see him trying to puzzle her out, but he left her in silence and tried not to pry. When she spoke, he paid attention to every word, and he never forgot anything.

That was not the mark of a closed-off man like her father. If he truly didn't care, then why had he asked her to come back?

Sometimes he'd seemed so lonely, though she knew he'd never want to admit it. Still, she sensed it.

And related or no, she was willing to bet the same core of devotion that was at the heart of Thor was also somewhere within Loki. The few times he'd let his guard down, she'd seen he was a veritable flood of emotion. More than she'd ever expected, and she could scarcely understand how he kept it all wrapped up so well.

Not even Thor suspected what he'd buried so deeply inside himself. But she was starting to figure him out.

Which was bad. It only made her want to spend more time with him, but half the time she left more frustrated than when she'd arrived. If she came on one of his bad days, she'd end up in a funk for the rest of the day.

She needed answers, and he was steadfastly determined not to give them to her. It was time to take a step back.

"Better, see? Didn't that feel easier?"

Darcy grumbled an assent as Lars stepped back and took a sip of water. "I think we can call it a day, but make sure to stretch your muscles tonight, and we'll pick this up tomorrow." Lars bid her goodbye with a smile. Darcy thanked him before downing her own bottle of water and heading back up to her room.

She was exhausted, both mentally and emotionally, and for once was grateful for the proximity of her room. She didn't feel like driving the half hour it normally took back to her place. It felt nice to just go upstairs and crash.

Still, she wasn't warming up to the place _that_ much.

Looking forward to a quiet snack and an early night, she was momentarily dismayed to find Thor and Jane had taken over her tiny kitchen. Something smelled delicious, but she wasn't sure she had the energy for company. That, and Jane had a way of sniffing out her problems which she really wasn't ready to talk about quite yet.

"Miss Lewis, how was your training?"

"Same as ever." Jane gave her a sympathetic smile as she turned to the oven and pulled out a tray, spatula in hand.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, it took me some getting used to as well but you'll get the hang of it eventually."

"You were a natural." Thor's indulgent smile brought a flush to Jane's cheeks. She leveled a sharp glance at Darcy. "Don't listen to him, he's just being nice."

"No, I—" Thor looked startled at the accusation that he'd been lying before he recognized the sarcasm in her voice. He'd started to pick up on their way of talking, which was no easy feat. She gave him a small hug before serving out the lasagna she'd made.

Stunned, Darcy studied her friend carefully. "Is there something I should know?"

Jane brushed off her comment with a shrug, handing out plates as everyone sat down around the tiny island in Darcy's kitchen. Darcy's eyes followed Jane's every move until finally she turned back to look at her.

Darcy raised her eyebrows in question.

"Why can't I just make my friend a nice meal sometimes?"

Now, that _really_ started worrying Darcy.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Jane?"

"Hey, I'm not that bad."

"Of course you're not. But you don't take time out of your hectic day to cook a full dish of lasagna, _from scratch_."

Jane shrugged sheepishly as Thor looked worriedly at her.

"I figured you'd been having a rough week and needed something like this."

"And…?"

"And nothing."

"Jane."

She huffed uncharacteristically before serving out the food. "Okay fine. I talked to Fury today about going out into the desert and getting some measurements. He approved it and we're all set to leave tomorrow for a couple of days, but you can't come with."

"What?" Darcy was too stunned to touch the delicious meal in front of her. "But I'm your assistant. What am I supposed to do if I don't come with you?"

Jane frowned, and it made Darcy feel the tiniest bit better to see that Jane was not happy with the decision. Still, she didn't understand. It made no sense.

"Fury wouldn't exactly elaborate. He said he'd send as many assistants as I needed, but he thought you should keep training and stay here."

Something smelled fishy about all of this.

"But I don't _do_ anything else. There's no point in me being here if you aren't here."

"He said he didn't feel comfortable having you leave."

"What? Because of the robbery thing? He can't possibly be making this into that big of a deal."

"Miss Lewis, we all want to ensure your safety. You should take the opportunity to rest. I am sure Jane will have plenty of work to do with you when she comes back."

"Then what about Jane's safety?"

"I will go with her." His shoulders pulled back as he pulled Jane to his side. "Nothing will happen to her."

Jane deposited a soft kiss on his cheek before turning back to Darcy. "I threatened to not get any work done without you. He said all I needed to do was gather whatever data I need, and I would have to come back here and load it all up into the system anyways. When I get back we can do that together."

"This is ridiculous."

"Agreed." Jane took another bite of her dish, reminding Darcy of the meal in front of her. Reluctantly, she took a bite. She practically purred at the deliciousness of it. It was almost good enough to forget she was being abandoned here while Jane went off to work. Almost.

"You need to cook more often."

"I agree." Thor, who normally had a voracious appetite, settled with two reasonably-sized servings, leaving plenty of pasta left over. Which was most likely part of Jane's devious plan to smooth over the news. Now Darcy would at least have some food for the next couple days.

"Fury said something about how you don't have clearance to leave yet. Nothing I could say would persuade him. I'm so sorry Darcy."

Darcy shrugged, feeling slightly hurt. Of course they took security seriously, but it wasn't as though she had a lot of skills. She'd come in as Jane's assistant, and that was what she did. Aside from that, she was basically useless to SHIELD.

Basically useless to anyone.

Before continuing down that depressing train of thought, she turned back to the food and let Jane and Thor spoil her with a decadent tiramisu dessert. They stayed, relaxed and laughed, until they'd almost begun to feel like a family.

The two of them made their way out of the apartment sometime after midnight.

"I promise I'll be back as quick as I can," Jane offered a hug. They were more than coworkers; they'd been friends for so long that the idea of her working without Darcy was just weird. "They'll keep you busy and you won't even know I'm gone."

"Let's hope."

With a final hug from them both, they left her alone in her apartment. Darcy suddenly remembered how tired she was.

The irritation was still chafing at her from Jane's news. Probably another reason the two of them had stayed so long, to help her cool off before she stormed up to Nick Fury and gave him a piece of her mind.

As it was, it would have to wait 'til tomorrow. She was too exhausted to storm over to his office, not to mention she had no idea where to find him. He was all over the place at all hours. Probably wasn't even on the base at all.

She'd sleep it off, and try to rail at him tomorrow. Decided, she tucked herself into bed. She'd figured the worry and frustration would keep her awake, but all too easily she slipped into sleep.

Straight into darkness.

The moment her head hit the pillow she was out; it had been that way since her concussion. Yet she'd been having the strangest dreams.

Her mind felt heavy, as though she was wading through a thick fog. When it cleared, she was greeted with the same scene from the night before: Loki, bound and chained to the Earth in front of her.

There was no one else around. She couldn't see anything but dry dirt, spanning for miles out into the darkness. But Loki didn't appear able to see her.

Sometimes he cried out in pain, sometimes in rage. As she approached, slowly, cautiously, she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her. She glanced back and forth but couldn't see anything. She heard nothing but the sound of Loki's rasping breaths as he folded over himself.

Seeing him so weak terrified her. He was such a wall of steel that she couldn't even contemplate what would bring him to this. Perhaps his threats and dark words of hopelessness weren't merely pessimism. Maybe he'd been trying to warn her of something like this.

Except, what was this? Nothing but a dream, she reminded herself.

"Loki."

She said his name carefully as she walked up to him, the crumbling, rough ground rubbing her bare feet.

He didn't react, so she said it again, louder this time. He flinched, his head flying up as those sharp green eyes met hers.

There was fear in those eyes, and a warning.

"Darcy!"

She'd never heard him say her name like that, with concern and fear for her in his tone. He was looking over her shoulder, and the same eerie feeling of being watched grew stronger.

Wanting nothing more than to leave, she forced herself to move forward and tried tugging on Loki's chains, fighting to free them from the ground that bound them.

"Darcy, leave. Now."

She couldn't just leave him like this, when she had no idea what was coming. She ignored him and kept tugging, for all the good it did. He remained firmly locked in the dirt, and she was breathing hard from her efforts and the adrenaline racing through her.

A sudden, cold shock traveled up through her body from the ground. She stopped, immobile. His eyes returned to her, and the look there stopped her heart cold. "No…"

The words were pulled from him as though he'd been forced to face a torture he'd dreaded. The world turned darker, and before she could get herself to move, she felt a cold presence at her back. "No!"

Loki was trying to warn whatever it was away, but it would not move. She felt it come so close behind her it sent a shiver up her spine. All of a sudden, the entire world turned dark, and lit up with her scream.

Shrieking, she started, sitting up and fighting off the chill that had settled into her bones.

It took her several seconds to realize she'd sat up in her bed, sweaty sheets clinging to her as she shivered. The room was dark, but not as dark as her dreams. She could see the faint outline of her bedside table, and the door to her bathroom.

There was nothing to be afraid of. It was nothing but a dream.

Glancing at her phone to find it was 4 in the morning, she laid back down with a sigh. She still couldn't stop the shivers that came and went.

Maybe she was having abandonment issues, or being around Loki for too long was doing something to her.

Whatever it was, she didn't like it.

Forcing her eyes shut, she tried and failed to get back to sleep. Her mind was too frightened or returning to her nightmare, and she found herself lying awake staring at the shadows on her ceiling.

Maybe this was some kind of sign that she needed to stay away from Loki. Or maybe he was in trouble. Or maybe it was all random nothingness from a creepy dream that didn't mean anything.

Pushing the thoughts away, she watched her fatigue battle with her fear until finally she settled back to sleep, this time a blissfully dream-free rest.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

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After a fitful night's sleep, Darcy ended up sleeping in past her alarm. Not that it mattered. She'd missed seeing off Thor and Jane, and aside from the small list of tasks Jane had left her with and her training with Lars, she had basically nothing else to do all day.

Nothing to take her mind off the night before and the creepy feeling that just wouldn't leave her even in the light of day.

She didn't want to go and see Loki, but something inside her needed to check and reassure herself he was okay. To see for herself that he didn't have those bruises around his wrists from the manacles, and to see that confident expression back on his face, instead of the disheartening fear.

She held off the urge most of the day, but as she showered from her training in the waning light of the day, she couldn't put it off any longer. Dressing in comfy slacks and a sweater, she headed the familiar path down to the balcony overlooking his glass prison.

When she got to the metal door, she rested her forehead against the cool surface and took a deep breath, steadying her nerves. Nothing was wrong, it was just a dream. When she stepped onto the balcony, she would see the same glass cage she always did, with those same dark green eyes gazing knowingly up at her. She had to.

Steeling herself, she stepped inside.

The sound of her footsteps on the concrete seemed louder than normal. When he came into view, he glanced up at her sharply, expression unreadable as he studied her.

She looked down at his wrists. They were free of any marks. She let out the tiniest breath.

He looked her up and down, then met her eyes again. There was a wariness there that reminded her of the first time she'd ever seen him. She couldn't completely relax. Neither broke the silence, each studying the other.

Something felt different.

She tried to clear away the heavy atmosphere by finally greeting him.

"Loki."

"Darcy." Was it just her imagination, or was his voice the tiniest bit shakier than usual? The weight in her stomach wouldn't lift.

"Are you okay?"

His eyes flashed with recognition before he turned away. Something felt very wrong, though it made absolutely no sense.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

She saw a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes before it was replaced by the familiar steel. Suddenly, somehow, she felt it was real. Which was insane. Not willing to go down that road, she tried to act as though everything was normal.

"No reason, I was just worried."

"Worried? Why should you be worried?"

He was testier than usual, that was for sure. His dark eyes glared at her.

"Clearly I shouldn't be." She leaned back with her arms folded over her chest, torn between concern and frustration. It wasn't his fault she'd had a crazy dream, but did he really have to question everything she said?

Everything fell silent once more, so quiet she practically hear her own heartbeat if she focused hard enough. She didn't know what would allow her to finally shake off her fears and relax. Clearly, spending time with the frustrating Asgardian below was not the answer.

She didn't have anything else to do for the evening, and she really didn't feel like being alone. But was this really any better?

His voice broke the silence, and this time his voice was even and calm, almost soothing.

'Why are you worried?"

The accusation was gone from his tone, replaced by curiosity. Still, she felt silly for even taking her dream seriously.

"It's nothing. Jane and Thor left and I don't have anything to do."

He didn't seem pleased with her answer, but he didn't push her. Loki was halfway through the month Fury had given him, and didn't seem to have changed much from when she'd first sat down for lunch with him. What was she going to do with him?

"They left?"

"Went off exploring without me. I'm stuck here. Again."

"My sympathies."

The sarcastic tone was unmistakable, but Darcy didn't take it to heart. She stuck her tongue out at him playfully. He looked so taken aback she couldn't help letting out a small laugh.

And somehow, just like that, the anxiety started seeping away. She was feeling playful, on edge.

"_You_ don't have to be stuck here if you don't want to. All you have to do is help us out here and there and you can do as you please."

"As I please?"

"Well, almost. No killing or threatening people, but other than that, sure."

He stared at her as though she'd grown two heads. Something was making her bolder, bringing everything to the surface and she let herself continue before she lost steam.

"And if I have the urge to kill or threaten people?"

She couldn't tell whether he was serious or joking. She decided she didn't care.

"Then as long as you take it out on someone bigger than you, like those crazy aliens, you'll be fine."

Loki placed a hand over his mouth for a brief moment, covering the smirk he didn't want her to see until he got his expression back under control.

Somehow, she was mocking him and making light of everything that weighed on him, and it was making him feel _better_. He couldn't explain it.

After the harrowing night he'd had, the threat of Thanos hung over him like a dark cloud. Once again, she'd taken him by surprise, daring to bring up tenuous subjects and casually tossing out comments that would have enraged him coming from anyone else.

But she didn't pry at those subjects because she wanted to manipulate him, or because she was trying to get something out of him. And suddenly, he badly wanted everything to be as simple as she made it sound.

"In fact, killing or threatening them would be another great way to help us out."

"And what do I get in return?"

"Eternal gratitude? Superhero status? Fangirls? Or fan_boys_, if you prefer."

"I prefer neither."

"Suit yourself. It's not a bad thing for SHIELD to owe you a favor though. You never know when that might come in handy."

And yet again, she'd managed to shock him. The simple truth behind that statement hit him more strongly than before. She'd managed to kindle the faintest hope in him that he might be able to survive Thanos. That he could escape, and regain his freedom. The torments of last night's dream had made him doubt again, but she'd reappeared beside him, brushing away the dark cobwebs of doubt that had bound him and making him hope once again.

Still, it was never as simple as she made it sound.

"I will not be anyone's lapdog."

She outright laughed at that statement. Her look was playful and complicit when her blue eyes found his again, and against himself he was mesmerized. Her smile made him want to smile, which was preposterous.

She wiped a tear of laughter from the corner of her eye as she continued to smile at him. "I'm sorry, I just… I can't imagine that. Just the thought…." She giggled again before regaining her calm. He missed the way her laughter echoed and lit up the sterile room.

'I mean, can you imagine Thor, or, worse, Tony, being at Fury's beck and call? Well, maybe you can't, since you don't know them that well but…man… you know, I'm not even sure how Fury does it to be honest. Lapdog is definitely _not_ a word I'd use to describe any of them."

Her positive energy was so infectious; he could feel the impotence of his captivity lightening slightly, the noose around his neck loosening the faintest bit. Was there truly a way out that might not end with his death? Was such a thing possible?

Then he thought back to his nightmare; one that might very soon become a reality.

And he finally allowed himself to confess to the fear that ate at him day and night.

"What if something worse than those aliens comes? Something too strong for even SHIELD to fight?"

A sliver of fear trickled into her expression, again reminding him of her presence in his latest nightmare.

She didn't try to soothe him with false platitudes. The raw honesty in her answer made his chest ache.

"Then we might be completely screwed. But we won't be going down without a fight."

Again, her words flooded his mind with _what ifs_. It wasn't fair, the hope she was restoring inside of him, but it was like an infection, spreading and growing every day, taking over his mind and seeping into every thought.

She countered his doubts with _possibilities_. And she didn't seem to realize she was doing it.

How was it that she could do this, when every other option and thought he'd had had felt so hopeless? It had to be more than the fact that she'd been with him, in his nightmare, fighting to free him of his chains.

She had no magic, no powers, no special abilities. She was a simple human.

And yet, she was something else entirely. Something unique.

Her blunt honesty didn't cloud her words with false reassurances or hollow encouragements. The fact that she conceded they might fail was not the hopeless truth it should have been. It helped him to believe there might be other options, and it made him not want to give up without a fight.

He might be without his magic locked away in his cage, but he still had his will. He would not let Thanos overtake him, in dreams or otherwise. He would fight against him until his last breath. He would break free of the chains Thanos bound him to, and finally be restored.

The glass cage was not his true prison. It was merely another reminder of the chains Thanos had bound his soul to. Chains he would fight with his last breath.

"Perhaps you are right."

She glanced down at him in puzzlement. Completely oblivious to his inner thoughts.

"Right about what?"

"There are many different ways to fight back."

She didn't pry at his cryptic comment. As she looked down at him, he seemed to change in front of her. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there was more power in his dark eyes, and he seemed more open. Though maybe that was just her imagination.

She took a moment to think and realized she'd shaken off the weight that had been on her shoulders all day. He was so serious most of the time, yet he'd helped her to shake off her fear.

Maybe he was good after all. Maybe her instincts about him had been right all along.

"Does this mean you will talk to Fury? About helping us?"

"I have more important battles to fight."

"More important? What could be more important than your freedom? All you have to do is reason with him and he can free you from here."

"I thought you weren't trying to win me over to help your friends."

She was taken aback, her expression instantly cautious as she remembered their previous argument. His tone was calm, but she still stiffened her shoulders as though expecting a fight. He didn't like the hesitance on her face. He wanted her unguarded expression back, her playful smirk playing at the corners of her lips.

"I'm not. I'm saying this for you, not for them. When was the last time you reached out and honestly asked someone for help? The world is not out to get you."

"You are too naïve."

"No, I'm not." She stood, her cheeks flushing as the anger he always seemed to bring out rose to the surface. He did not want her anger.

"I know there are horrible things out in the world, and people that are more than willing and able to take advantage of anyone, any chance they get. But not everyone is like that. In fact, it makes them all the more precious when they aren't. As difficult as they can be, SHIELD is trying to make the world a better place. They can help you, if you need help."

"And you believe I need help?"

"I think that you don't want to accept help, whether you need it or not. But I'm not asking you to talk to Fury because I want you on his side, or because I work for SHIELD. I only said it because I want you to have your freedom back."

"Because you believe I deserve it."

"Yes."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can't."

She shrugged. She did not know the truth about him, but she let her instincts and convictions guide her and her passion made him want to believe her words.

"Thank you."

Her blue eyes widened sharply at his statement. Clearly she'd been expecting a rebuttal or an argument. His next words shocked her even further, and somehow that gave him even more pleasure.

"I can see why SHIELD recruited you."

He'd so easily dismissed her when she'd first come to see him. How arrogant he'd been.

"You can? Umm… thanks?"

She seemed as uncomfortable with his compliment as he knew he'd been when she'd offered kind words. He'd dismissed her as Jane's assistant, but she was much more than that, and he had no doubt a man like Fury was well aware. Her honesty, her intuition and her intelligence made for a powerful combination. The fact that she was so easily underestimated made her even more incredible.

"I don't think my work as Jane's assistant is that invaluable really. In fact, they wouldn't even let me go with her on her expedition this time. I'm starting to think they're having second thoughts about me… talk about useless…."

She didn't realize her strengths, because they were so natural to her. She saw everything in colors and nuances, and looked at the world around her without judgment. She could cut into his violent emotions with logic, honesty, or her random, spur-of-the-moment thoughts that completely disarmed him. She was infuriating, vibrant, and incredible.

"I am sure she will need you when she returns."

"Let's hope so."

She shared a kind look with him, and again, he was struck with the urge to touch her. It was happening more often of late as she visited him, to the point he was almost getting used to it.

"Speaking of which, I'd better get back. I have a couple last minute things to do before the sun sets. Jane might not be here, but she'll probably log in to check on the progress."

"Thank you for your visit."

Again, her large eyes widened as she studied him, and he kept his expression carefully neutral. She seemed satisfied and smiled down at him after a moment.

"I'll be back tomorrow."

And he found the positive energy that always seemed to buzz around her stayed with him for long after she'd left.

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Something was definitely different with Loki. She felt so light and positive when she left him that she started worrying. Was something wrong with him? Was he near the edge of some kind of breakdown?

He'd thanked her, been civil with her, and even complimented her. It was so unexpected, yet it had been so lovely she'd barely been able to tear herself away. When he'd looked up at her today, his eyes had been more open and honest that she could ever remember them before. Her gut had been right about him all along, she knew it. There was good in him, and the emotions she knew he locked away were slowly starting to come out into the light of day.

She was liking it far too much. Reminding herself of who he was and what he'd done, she tried to calm the hope that was steadily rising within her, but it wouldn't seem to stem the tide. She was too invested in the outcome of his situation, she had to admit.

And when he'd looked straight at her, open and honest, she'd never felt so close to another person in her life. Now _that_ had scared her. Pushing the thoughts away, she forced herself to focus on the last bit of data entry she had left, then heated up some of Jane's leftover lasagna.

Even one day later it was still delicious. The day wound down pleasantly, and as she began to feel tired, she got ready for sleep and tucked herself into bed. It wasn't until her head hit the pillow that the dream from the night before came back to her in full clarity.

Shaking her head to dislodge those thoughts, she focused on the positives and let herself drift slowly into sleep.

Again, she was met with the barren wasteland that stretched out in front of her, and again Loki was bound in thick chains that chafed at his wrists. Her dream faded in and out as she again tried to tear him free, failing miserably. The terrifying presence from the night before returned, and just as she felt the chain on his left wrist give way the slightest bit, a searing, white-hot pain exploded on her right wrist as she was shoved and tossed across the dirt violently. She hadn't seen what hit her, and when she glanced around, there was no one but herself and Loki lost in the endless void of dirt.

The pain jolted her awake and she sat up in bed, sweating and shaking. It wasn't until she looked down that the terror truly set in her bones.

Along her right wrist, where she'd felt the pain in her dream, was a raw, open burn across her forearm.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

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Darcy glanced frantically at the dark clock on her bedside table. 4:30am. Was anyone even awake at this time on base?

Heart racing and starting to panic, she flipped on the light. Maybe she'd imagined the mark with her mind so fresh from the nightmare. The pain felt real. The dim light of the small lamp lit up the room.

She sucked in a sharp breath when she examined her arm. Along her right forearm the skin was red and raw in a long, thin line. It was a minor injury, a couple layers of skin burned away, and it stung when she touched it, but it wasn't bleeding or seeping. She'd had worse.

But never completely out of the blue after a horrible nightmare.

Maybe it hadn't just been a nightmare.

She reached out and grabbed her new cell phone and pulled up Jane's number, finger on the dial button before she stopped herself. Jane would be sleeping. Besides, how was she going to explain this? Did it even make any sense?

She tried to force her mind to come up with some form of explanation but it only gave her a headache as she twisted her brain up in knots. Any reality check came up blank when she remembered where she was and what she did for a living.

There were superheroes crawling all over this base. Men and women with powers beyond the imagination, with magic, super strength, the ability to fly… and thanks to the New York incident, she knew there was far more than she'd ever contemplated out in the universe, undiscovered.

Whatever invisible force had been in her dreams had somehow burned her; she was sure of it. And maybe since Loki had been there, he would know what it was. Or at least know if such a thing was possible. At this point, she couldn't think of any other way to explain it.

Decided, she climbed out of bed, pulling on slippers and slipping her phone into her pajama shorts pocket. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she trekked down to his prison.

It was eerie at this hour. All the corridors were dimly lit, some completely dark. She didn't meet a soul as she crossed through the hallways. When she opened the door to the familiar balcony, the lights were dark. Unable to think past her nightmare, she stepped down the concrete walkway to the edge of the balcony. As she moved, lights overhead flickered on one by one.

In his cage, Loki was sitting hunched over with his head in his hands. When the lights flickered on, he had that same terrified look she'd seen in her nightmare.

"Loki." His expression turned neutral and he remained silent. She brushed a messy strand of hair away from her face, knowing what she must look like, disheveled and half-asleep. A total mess. "I can't sleep."

"So you came here?"

She knew it would sound crazy, but she had to try to explain. If only she knew where to start.

"I can't sleep because of you."

/+/+/+/+/+/

His heart skipped a step, no doubt from her words mixed with the adrenaline currently rushing through his system. After another harrowing nightmare, he'd been jolted from sleep, protesting as his vision of Darcy had been torn away…. Thanos was getting better with his torment. Closer.

Somehow, foolishly, desperately, he wanted her words to be the frivolous exaggerations of a crush—one he wasn't sure he'd be so quick to ignore—but his instincts knew better.

She shifted awkwardly, being very careful with her right arm before she afforded him with her familiar eye roll. He'd noticed she tended to do it when she felt embarrassed, as though chastising herself. She bit her lip nervously. "That didn't come out right."

She brushed another wayward strand of hair away from her face. Her cheeks were flush from sleep, she looked out of breath, and the skimpy shirt and shorts she wore did very little to hide her curves. He fought to drown out his awareness of her with memories from the dream that had left him raw. Having her so close after she'd been with him in his nightmare, alongside him and trying to save him, was doing things to his mind. Drawing out emotions he didn't recognize.

The sense of awareness he'd had of her in his dream was somehow still there between them as he looked up at her. When she licked her lips, he couldn't take his eyes away. His sleep-addled brain thought it was _attracted_ to her. Ridiculous.

"This is going to sound crazy but… is there such a thing as dream magic?"

"Dream magic?"

"Yea like… like someone doing something in a dream that also ends up being real, in the real world."

"What do you mean?" A heavy, foreboding feeling was creeping up on him bit by bit, growing stronger with her words. Inexplicably _tender_ feelings mingled with a chilling cold that was flowing through his veins.

Something about his last nightmare had felt different.

Could she possibly know?

Was she in danger as well as him? And why did the thought of that cause a slight twist in his gut?

"You're going to mock me."

His voice was more serious than it had ever been before. "I will not mock you."

Her expression was skeptical but she continued. "Alright. Tonight, when I was sleeping, I dreamed that…" She sighed heavily. "Ugh this is going to sound so stupid. I can't even say it out loud."

"Then show me."

"Show you?"

He tried to appear supportive as she looked down at him. As her dark eyes locked with his, he was assaulted with a deep sense of _connection_. Just as he'd felt in his nightmares. It unsettled him.

Lifting her right arm up, she held her forearm towards him, supporting it with her left arm and motioning to it. He saw a long, thin burn that appeared fresh. The sense of foreboding grew to a blaring alarm in his head.

"Okay. I dreamed I was with you and you were chained and I tried to free you, except I couldn't, and next thing I know I'm tossed aside and my arm is burning and then I wake up with this."

Her words were fast, tumbling out as though she was trying to get as far away from them as possible. He could not blame her.

The truth settled like acid in his empty stomach. Thanos had found him. Hadn't he? He did not know what it meant, but it was a dark omen, he was sure of it.

"So?" Darcy prompted when he didn't respond.

It took him a moment to realize he'd withdrawn into himself. She'd just confessed she'd shared his dream, and been physically harmed by it.

She'd shared his nightmare of Thanos.

His hands gripped the glass roughly in an effort to remain standing. He was so ashamed of the fear coursing through him, but he could not stem the flow.

"Loki? What does it mean? Are you okay? Is something like that even possible?"

He had no doubt his face reflected the horror he felt. Thanos had been able to reach _her_, through his dreams. He was everywhere. Loki was as good as dead.

"You have to leave."

"What? Leave? I'm not leaving until I get an answer. What is this?"

"A coincidence! Nothing. It is irrelevant. You need to go."

"It's not nothing!"

"Then you are mistaken! It is not from your dream. That's impossible. You must have done it by accident, some other way."

"How? I don't have anything that can burn me like this in my bedroom! Explain that to me!"

"No! GO!"

"Not until you explain!"

She crossed her arm with the burn still visible on the outside. Her face showed anger, the stubbornness he'd come to recognize, and tenacity. But underneath all of those was an emotion he'd never seen on her face before, and it was all the more starkly revealed because of it: fear.

She'd been standoffish with him in the past, angry, frustrated, and cautious. Wary, at times, but never truly afraid. He did not expect her fear to bother him, but somehow seeing it in her eyes sent his own fear ratcheting up a notch.

His pulse was racing.

She was an open book to him, and what he saw there brought home the thoughts he'd refused to let himself contemplate until now. She sensed something was wrong, but didn't know what it was.

He knew.

"I just want to understand."

The plea in her voice was hard to resist, but he didn't even dare voice the words aloud. Simply acknowledging Thanos would give him too much power.

He was a coward. The truth sunk into his bones like lead.

"You can't."

At that, her shoulders jerked back at the challenge. Before she could deliver the angry retort he knew was coming, he continued. "You can't know. You have to leave it. Trust me. You are in danger."

Darcy let out a sarcastic snort as she gestured to her arm. "No kidding. You think?"

"Darcy. The more you know about this, the more I tell you, the more at risk you will be. It is better if you remain as you are."

She nibbled her lower lip again as her thoughts turned inwards. She was maddening, in more ways than one. "So you admit you know what I'm talking about."

He kept himself carefully still, fighting to keep his face as expressionless as possible. She was clever enough to pick up on the tiniest thing if he was not careful. He remained quiet as she studied him.

"My dream wasn't really a dream, was it? I mean, somehow, you were _there_. You were actually there."

He knew if he denied it she would see through the lie. She was too perceptive for her own good, and he was too drained to completely conceal his emotions. So he tried a different tack.

"You need to put it far out of your mind. Think of something else, anything else. Take your mind off it whatever way possible."

"Easier said than done." She leaned against the railing, a lock of hair falling forward over her shoulder. The burn looked so wrong on her pale, smooth skin.

"Darcy, you will not get any answers from me. You need to go."

Her eyes narrowed as she withdrew inwards. The frustration, alarm, and upset emanating from her were so strong he felt them in his bones like tiny pinpricks of awareness. Never before had her emotions been so overwhelming.

He'd given in to Thanos once, and he regretted it more than anything in his life. He could not afford to risk anything more being revealed to him.

"If you have that dream again, try to clear your mind. Do not think of people you know, names, places. Wipe it all away. You have to try to wake up, to escape and to not reveal anything or anyone that you know."

Her look was speculative as she studied him. "He was torturing you." Her tone was carefully blank, as though testing the waters to see his reaction. "Trying to get that information. Trying to find you?"

He glared at her in warning. She took a step back, but not because of him. She moved as though preparing to leave.

"Does Thor know anything about this? That torture is real, isn't it? It's why you don't care what Fury does to you. Nothing could be as bad as that."

The words felt like a blow. She saw to the very heart of him, saw the very thing he'd never wanted anyone to know. Why had she been pulled into his nightmare? It had been bad enough alone but with her watching, seeing him so weak…..it was beyond torture. Not to mention it made her another possible target. He was almost grateful when the rage inside of him began to burn almost as hotly as the terror. It gave him something solid to cling to as he sorted through his thoughts.

"You _cannot_ go to Fury. Or Thor. Mention this to no one."

"Loki. I'm not just going to stand by when things like this keep happening. When it's becoming so real, it does _this_." She motioned to her arm once more.

Night after night, endlessly, he'd been torn apart, both mentally and physically, by Thanos in his nightmares. But he'd always woken without a scratch. Why, now, had a mark appeared on her?

"There's no way you can convince me that this is nothing."

"Fury cannot help you. None of them can help you."

"Why? And if they really can't, then why won't you? Don't you want to get out of this?"

"What I want does not matter."

"Why do you always talk like that?"

"Because it's the truth!"

She'd made him raise his voice, the words rasping through a throat nearly choked with anger. His voice was so loud, and so rough, it echoed in the room.

He'd chastised her and argued before, even been cruel to her, tossing painful words in her face to frighten her away. None of it had worked. This time, he'd made her flinch.

Good. He needed her afraid. Needed her to see the reality of their situation.

Abruptly, he missed her first visits, so simple he'd only worried about how long he could get her to stay and talk to him. Now he needed her to leave, though a small part of him wanted her to stay, and every moment longer he felt more and more worn down.

Drained and lifeless.

"You've already given up on yourself. Maybe if you opened up, we could help you. You could get out of this situation."

"Do you not think I have already tried? Already explored every avenue, every single possibility? There is nothing. The situation is hopeless."

She looked at him oddly, as though she hadn't expected those words. Better she see how pathetic he was and leave him be. The further away she was from him, the safer she would be.

Since when did he even care about her safety at all?

"You haven't tried everything."

"Oh?"

"You haven't tried working with me."

/+/+/+/+/+/

This was crazy. He'd basically admitted that yes, her frightening dreams _were_ in fact something to be very seriouslyworried about. Yet when he seemed so defeated, everything in her rebelled. It looked so wrong to see him like that, just as it had looked so unnatural and wrong to see him in chains.

So maybe her rebellious side was getting the better of her again. If there was something out there even someone like Loki was wary of, there was no way in hell she'd be able to stand up against them. She was nothing but an assistant, for crying out loud. Not even that great at filing paperwork.

Fury had lost faith in her, leaving her behind when Jane was out on assignment. And maybe that was part of the reason she wanted so badly to help, to be useful.

Her self-defense skills were less than stellar, as Lars could attest. Yet that hadn't stopped her from confronting the punk that had stolen her phone. All the power behind Fury hadn't stopped her standing up to him on the few occasions she'd dared to.

She did not want to wake up again with another burn, heart pounding so violently in her chest she could scarcely keep it contained. She could not sit and wait or try to ignore it. Something had to be done.

The question was what.

"Explain it to me, and maybe I can help you."

"How? You have no magic, no special skills. You are human."

His words stung even though they were absolutely true. They threw fuel onto the fire inside of her, making her desperate to take action.

"If you won't help, I'll go to Fury. Or Thor. I'm not sitting around doing nothing and pretending to ignore this. Maybe I can't fight this. Maybe I am useless. But I never give up. Ever."

It was one of her best qualities, as well as her worst fault.

He looked furious and frustrated with her, a look she knew well having seen it in so many people time and time again throughout her life. She'd learned to ignore it.

"Don't. Wait."

And it seemed he'd finally taken in how stubborn she was. "Wait. I will help you. I can teach you what I know. But we will have to be careful. This will put everything at risk. You will be in more danger than you've ever been before."

"I will be careful."

"You will have to be a lot more than that. What I ask you to do, you will have to do, and you will have to trust me."

"I will try."

He seemed to accept that answer, turning away and rubbing his brow. He looked more tired than she felt. They both needed rest.

"Can we wait until morning?"

His eyes tightened as he seemed to struggle with an ache in his brow. "Yes. Do as I said, clear your mind when you sleep, and try not to think of anything."

"Okay." She took a deep breath. The thought of going back to sleep unnerved her, but she had to try. If she was going to take a stand at all, she had to get started by getting enough rest. "We'll start in the morning."

He nodded and she left him before he could say anything more.

/+/+/+/+/+/

The enormity of what he'd shared and promised hit him like a maelstrom as he let out a heavy gasp.

Was he really going to do this? Did he have any other choice?

The cause was hopeless from the start, and she would only end up another victim. But her determination and her hope were so infectious; they made him _want_ to do something. Even if it was his last stand. She had no powers or abilities, but something about her ridiculous stubbornness made him not want to give up.

If this was his end either way, he could at least go down with a fight.

His next thoughts were cut short by the sound of her familiar footsteps, dragging something along the concrete floor. When Darcy came into view again, she had a pillow under one arm, while the other dragged a thick blanket behind her.

"I don't know what will happen this time, but just in case."

He was at a loss for words. She didn't seem to mind, ignoring him as she wrapped herself in the blanket and tucked it underneath her as padding against the cold floor. She tucked the pillow under her head and lay facing him, though he could hardly see her at that angle when she was so far above him.

They stayed silent for so long and she lay so still that the lights flickered off and left them in darkness, with nothing but the glowing red lights from the monitors and cameras around them breaking up the darkness.

He sat on the floor, relaxing against the padding that surrounded him, though his thoughts were tense. He thought she might have fallen asleep when her whisper broke the silence.

"Thank you Loki. Goodnight."

She said nothing more as she drifted into sleep, but he remained awake staring across at the dark lump that was Darcy, up on the balcony above him.

Something was different. The fact that she was in his nightmare, the fact that she'd been harmed… the fact that she'd come to him for help—nothing was as he'd expected. It threw off his sense of balance, as though one day, he'd woken up to find that the sky had decided to be below his feet and the Earth was hanging threateningly above him. A strange, confused nausea clung to him as he thought about his situation. He did not know what to make of any of it, or of the tumultuous emotions battling inside of him.

But somehow, because of this, he knew: everything was about to change. He only hoped it would be for the better. He did not see how any of them could survive otherwise.


End file.
